Does Size Really Matter?

Dear Aunty Slut,

I’ve been seeing this guy for a week or so, we haven’t had sex yet but yesterday we did a bunch of other stuff (which was fun) but now I’m worried I’m not going to like having sex with him because he has a small one. What should I do?

-Underwhelmed

Dear Underwhelmed,

Aunty Slut voraciously advocates going after your pleasure, and that if it doesn’t feel right, that you should go find something that does. If his penis is the size of a chapstick, and penetrative pleasure is important to you, then by all means, go find a bigger package.

All that being said, dick size is way down the list of reasons why a guy is not or is good in bed. In my opinion, making good or bad sex about dick size is for people who are too useless to put any effort into having amazing sex. When I think about the sex so spectacular I fell out of bed versus the sex so terrible I actually got him to stop halfway through and kicked him out, there is no correlation between those things and size. In fact, if I was to make any sort of link, I would say that the guys who weren’t as well-endowed were better lovers. They tried harder. They cared that I was having a good time. They had taken the time to learn lots of different ways to give me pleasure, because they were worried the penetrative part wasn’t going to be so great. And because they cared and they were enthusiastic about my pleasure, the penetrative part was awesome.

Of course size matters- to the guy. If he’s embarrassed by his cock then he’s not going to be all that confident about wielding it to make you come is he? But infinitely worse than that in my opinion is a guy with a bigger cock who’s all like “yeah, look at this huge cock I’m fucking you with” (NB: he doesn’t actually have to say that to make it awkward.) If he’s resting on his laurels- i.e. being too fucking lazy to learn how to get someone off because “it’s big, it’s automatic”- then he’s a way more hopeless case than a guy who is less well-endowed. Huge cocks also prevent some of the more creative positions- because they hurt. In my experience, a big cock is just a recipe for fucking disaster- mostly because everyone seems to think that huge cocks are god’s gift to women, and most of the people who think that are douche-bags. Any dude who thinks he’s all that because his cock is above average is going to be a shit lover. Give me a dude with an average cock who really turns me on, who knows how to use it and actually cares about whether or not I’m screaming for him instead of a useless salami wielder any day.

Basically, anything at either extreme end of the dick-size spectrum is going to cause some sort of issue. How big- or small, a deal it is, is up to you. Enjoying penetrative sex is not just about cock size, it’s about confidence, rhythm, attraction… It’s also about licking your fingers and getting your clit involved if that’s what gets you off. It comes down to whether he’s bothered to learn how to use it to get you off. If you really like this guy, give him a whirl. He might surprise you.

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