Breather Briefing – Issue 1

O week has just been and done, and for many of you it has been the biggest bender of your entire career. Some will still be recovering, some might even still be kicking on. As this year goes on you will become accustomed to the way of the sesh at uni, whether it be from an all knowing seshlord who resides on Greensboro, or experimentation that you conduct with your own group of gremlins to be. This purpose of this section is to provide (not encourage) you with ideas, information or stories about stuff such as red cards, drunken antics, different beverages and how you can make your peers consume them.

DRINK OF THE WEEK

FLAMES

Coming in at a low price of $23.99 for 15 330ml cans at Liquorland Hamilton east, Flames have become a staple of the student drinking culture. 1.4 standards to a vessel, packing more punch than Muhammed Ali, these will get you more buckled than Hunter S. Thompson on any other day. Known formally as Flamé, rocking up to a predrinks with a box of these bad boys in your hand will instantly earn you respect from your peers as they know you’re setting sail on a one way trip with the destination known as the outer edges of the solar system.

RED CARD IDEA

RED WINE ON THE CORNFLAKES

As Jeremy Clarkson once said “Anyone who stops working – it gets to 11 and you have a drink, and then the next week it’s half 10, then 10 and then it’s red wine on the cornflakes” well we’re uni students, we don’t fucking work. So here we are. This challenge involves a bottle of red wine, a box of Kellogg’s finest cornflakes, and your standard breakfast toolkit. Participants must pour a bowl of cornflakes, followed up by a more than reasonable amount of red wine. They then must dig in, you’re only allowed to eat with your spoon and once all the cornflakes are eaten, drink the rest of the red wine. For every 5 minutes you take to do this, you must do a shot at the end.

SESH WARS

Episode I: That Sinking feeling

As a first year, I thought I could handle my piss until this one night where it couldn’t have gone more tits up if I tried. Twas a Thursday night in one of the semester breaks and the boys and I were buckling up for a big one. By big I mean a night on the straights. The location was a flat on Edinburgh street and it was a doozy, people doing kegstands, jumping in the pool, filthy DnB being blasted. Earlier that night I thought it was a good idea to smack a Nitro in the shower while I was getting ready, then move onto the ¾ of a bottle of Jack Daniels I had left. Big mistake. While at the flat party I ran out of mixer so I started to consume this absolute poison of a drink by itself. At this point I blacked out and have zero memory of what happened. After waking up in the kitchen sink on Wairere drive with no phone, wallet or keys I concluded that I left the flat on a solo adventure, walked through Knighton road school and broke* in. Since it was absolutely freezing I had hopped into the kitchen sink and turned on the hot water to keep warm. I had passed out with the tap on and flooded the kitchen, I was then ‘rudely’ awoken early in the morning by some elderly people who were organising a council meeting in that same building. I was then tasked to clean the whole thing up, which I did. I haven’t consumed straights since. 

Broke* = The door was unlocked

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