I sit down with some old friends from highschool, and after the obligatory “where are they now” gossip sesh, we start the lecture with the big ol’ title “Endocrinology” on the screen; I zoned out to type this, and now they’re talking about a bunch of very sad, very painful and probably lethal diseases. And one of them has shared the “thousand yard stare” soldier meme before she’s even finished discussing a poorly-timed test they have next week. Boy howdy, aren’t I glad I’m not one of these guys.
Since I doubt they’ll tell me what it is, Endocrinology is “the branch of medicine and biology dedicated to the study of the endocrine system, its glands, and the hormones they secrete” (thanks Google). That means nothing to me. It also sounds like the interesting half of this lecture is the half I’ll miss since it’s talking about Grave’s disease. Once again, I understand nothing; Why do I, an arts student, consistently come in to audit med student papers? I have other friends, I could audit other classes. Classes that speak English that I understand. Classes that make sense. I guess if I did that I wouldn’t get to make as many sarcastic quips and self-degrading jokes.
Class fact: The endocrine system has something like 30 chemical messengers that can affect sleep, body temperature, hunger and stress.
Author fact: My endocrine system is fucked, and I would appreciate it if someone could fix it for me.
In the brief moment I typed that joke, we’ve moved on to big-words I don’t understand and smaller words like “cell communication” that I can understand. Apparently there’s four intercellular communication mechanisms, and no I am not smart enough to try and simplify them for this audit. That doesn’t stop her cramming a million words into one tiny table exhibiting five communication mechanisms… which I could have sworn she told me there were four earlier. Super awesome that new medical science discoveries are getting thrown in halfway through the lecture though; imagine that happening in an english class!
wMoving on, she starts discussing classes of hormones… or amino acid derivatives? I am so confused, we’re throwing around big words and terms like a politician throwing social-issue-buzzwords in their speech to get the vote; completely incorrectly, and almost offensively in some ways.
Melatonin, that brings me back into focus; aaaaand it’s over before it begins. I think I just missed the secret for a full night’s sleep, and now I’m really pissed off. That was something I could have actually used in my real life, how DARE my friends interrupt with that damn thousand-yard-stare meme again.
Okay, I’m going to lock in to this lecture and report back when I leave at the halfway mark. Future me: Please DON’T forget to finish this piece. That would be embarrassing.
Future me here, that was a mistake because I just listened very intently to what can alter hormone activation in target cells and every single piece of that very valuable information fell right back out of my head, and somehow I am not surprised; my past self does like to set future me up for failure. Speaking of which, I’m going to go do something to achieve that goal now.
Overall, the lecturer seems chill, if a tad unengaging. The class was tiny considering I was in the PWC (like, maybe forty people max; primary school classes have more students than this), and so I demand access to whatever drugs she said would get me a full night’s sleep.
