Aries: You will make a questionable decision this week. Fortunately, it will also be your most entertaining one.
Taurus: Your bed is calling. Ignore it. You have things to do, allegedly.
Gemini: Stop changing your mind. Actually, change it. No, wait. Keep the original one.
Cancer: Someone will hurt your feelings. You will dramatically overthink it. They probably didn’t mean it.
Leo: You are entering your main-character era. Unfortunately, nobody else has been informed.
Virgo: Your organisation skills are impressive. Your ability to procrastinate organising is even more impressive.
Libra: You will face an impossible choice this week: being responsible or having fun. Choose carefully.
Scorpio: Someone is keeping a secret from you. Mind your business. You will absolutely not do this.
Sagittarius: Book the trip. Send the text. Make the bad decision. Future you can deal with it.
Capricorn: You have worked hard enough. Unfortunately, your to-do list has not received this information.
Aquarius: You are not weird. You are simply operating several years ahead of everyone else. Probably.
Pisces: Your delusions are thriving. Keep them close; reality has nothing particularly exciting to offer this week.
