If you’ve spent enough time on social media engaging with self-improvement content, you’ve probably encountered Stoicism at some point. This content is usually accompanied by marble busts of Marcus Aurelius, short-form gym content, and edgy quotes about discipline. The message is clear: don’t complain, don’t let your emotions control you, embrace discomfort and become mentally stronger. Of course, there is nothing inherently wrong with this message. But to me, it overlooks many core aspects of Stoicism, reducing it to a shallower, unrealistic, and often exclusively masculine form.
Stoicism is a school of philosophy that emerged in ancient Greece in the third century BC. It was further refined in ancient Rome by thinkers such as Seneca, Epictetus, and Marcus Aurelius. Put simply, Stoicism is a philosophy about living a good life by focusing on what is within our control and accepting what isn’t. The Stoics argued that although we cannot control external events, other people’s behaviour, or everything that happens to us, we can control our judgements, choices and actions. Rather than being ruled by fear, anger, desire, or disappointment, we should respond to life’s difficulties with reason and self-control. Unfortunately, however, this is often the point at which people stop engaging with Stoicism.
We can all agree that life is hard. It’s often easy to tell ourselves that we should be stronger, more resilient, and more indifferent. But the reality is that we are human beings who feel. But Stoicism, contrary to what we’ve been told, doesn’t tell us to stop feeling. Stoicism recognises that emotions are a part of being human. The goal in Stoicism isn’t to eliminate our emotions and become indifferent machines, but to learn to act in a way that they don’t control our actions. Of course, this takes practice. In Stoicism, you aren’t strong because you can pretend you don’t feel and choose to suppress your desires and feelings. You are strong because you accept the way you feel without allowing them to determine the kind of person you become.
Stoicism is just as concerned with character as it is with discipline. Unfortunately, modern Stoicism can often come across as incredibly selfish. Stoicism is about becoming virtuous. For example, Stoicism asks us to forgive others for their actions by recognising that people often act because of their own misunderstandings of what is good. Stoicism is about justice and being content with what you have instead of aspiring for wealth and fame. Wisdom, tolerance, and self-control are all central virtues to Stoicism. It teaches us to appreciate what we have by regularly reminding ourselves that nothing is permanent, and at some point, all our loved ones will eventually pass away.
For me, the beauty of Stoicism is that it is a philosophy that is deeply rooted in everyday life. I often read the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius when I am going through a hard time, and they remind me that living a good life is about becoming a good person as much as it is about becoming disciplined or resilient. It is sad to see how Stoicism has become commodified and reduced to a handful of sanctimonious mantras. The question Stoicism is asking us isn’t how we can become indifferent to the problems life throws our way, but what we can do to become more virtuous, tolerant, and resilient. Fundamentally, Stoicism is about self-improvement. But it is self-improvement for the betterment of society, our families, and ourselves.
