Horoscopes – Issue 22 2026

Aries: You cannot fix him, please, for the love of God, leave him alone. 

Taurus: Your stubbornness is being mistaken for confidence, so keep going. 

Gemini: You have three deadlines, four tabs open and absolutely no intention of addressing any of them. 

Cancer: Someone misses you, but unfortunately they have the communication skills of a brick. 

Leo: This week, the spotlight finds you — try not to immediately make it about yourself. 

Virgo: You will spend 45 minutes organising your life instead of actually doing anything. 

Libra: A difficult decision approaches, so naturally you’ll ask six people and ignore all their advice. 

Scorpio: Your mysterious aura is working, mostly because you refuse to explain yourself. 

Sagittarius: Say yes to something spontaneous this week, even if your bank account begs you not to. 

Capricorn: You’re dangerously close to becoming the person who says “I love being busy.” 

Aquarius: Nobody understands your latest idea, including you, but that has never stopped you before. 

Pisces: Your delusion is reaching impressive new heights, but honestly, let them dream.