- This takes a really fucking long time to make, but it is so delicious that the amount of time you spend preparing it is well and truly worth the work.
- Playlist: something introspective… from the start by laufey, like him by tyler the creator, and weird fishes/arpeggi by radiohead.
Ingredients:
- 1.5kg of chicken breast (depends on how many people you’re feeding, but this is a good guideline)
- 6 eggs
- A bag of panko breadcrumbs
- 300g of flour (give or take)
- Potatoes
- Coleslaw
- A shitload of oil
- Time and patience
Method:
- Get three baking trays and a big bowl, fill the bowl with four eggs whisked together, one tray with flour, and one tray with breadcrumbs.
- Cut each chicken breast through the middle, fold open, and tenderise with a meat hammer. Repeat this until you have finished each of them, and they’re flat and tenderised on either side.
- Coat the flattened chicken in egg, then flour, then egg again, then breadcrumbs. This is a hugely laborious process, takes ages, and makes a huge mess but you won’t regret it.
- Once you’ve finished this, get your biggest frying pan and fill it up with enough oil to cover your chicken breast. This is not something I’ve measured before so just go with your heart.
- While the oil heats up, cut up your potatoes and throw them all into a pot. Peel them if you want or leave them with the skin on, it doesn’t matter.
- Start frying your schnitzel. This is pretty self-explanatory, but just wait until either side is crispy and browned. You’ll know it’s cooked when you see it- it’s purely vibes-based.
- When you’re about halfway through frying the chicken, turn your potatoes on. They should finish at the same time that way.
- Cut each piece of chicken in half and scrutinise it to make sure that it’s perfectly cooked, or just pray you don’t get food poisoning.
- Dish up, and enjoy! Then prepare for your flatmates/partner/friends/family to request it constantly until you get sick of making it.
