Horoscopes – Issue 17

Your horoscope your pop culture moment

Aries: ‘beefin’ wit my chick while I’m in jail’ 

Cancer: The time Charli D’amelio thought the #HereForCharli movement was about her 

Aquarius: ‘she’s got… PTSD, or, whatever. Post traumatic… Downs Syndrome’ 

Sagitarius: ‘ninnies on the glass, ninnies on the glass’ 

Gemini: ‘Stop sign?? What stop sign??’ 

Leo: Lorde shushing the crowd for her performance of writer in the dark 

Virgo: ‘that’s off putting’  

           ‘you should be off pudding’ 

Libra: ‘look at gaga! She’s the creative director at polaroid. I like some of gaga’s songs, but what the fuck she know about cameras?’ 

Scorpio: ‘our country has fucking failed us!!’ 

               ‘facts.’ 

Pisces: ‘nikki minjaj’ 

Capricorn: All of the Zendaya hat lore 

Taurus: Renata Bliss the freestyle dance teacher