Aries: Have you thought about cancelling that gym membership? When was the last time you actually went?
Cancer: Do not go anywhere near the library stairs this week. You will be cursed to fall down them.
Aquarius: Consider the fact that doing the readings for class might actually help you pass whatever you’re doing.
Sagitarius: Clean your fucking drink bottle. The black mold growing inside it is starting to affect you.
Gemini: I sentence you to one extremely fun, energy drink fuelled night at the computer labs until 2am with your mates.
Leo: Being trauma bonded with someone does not mean you need to stay friends. It’s ok to grow apart even if it doesn’t feel right.
Virgo: Still upset about the mini being paywalled on nyt games? No worries, we have games for free! Just flip to the back.
Libra: Pulling an all nighter might just be the only way to fix your sleep schedule at this point. Organise it for a Friday so you have the weekend to sort it out.
Scorpio: A European holiday is not only unaffordable, but also a terrible idea. The weather is probably shit over there.
Pisces: Your boyfriend might not understand your extremely niche internet references, but I do. Don’t worry.
Capricorn: You should stay up until 3am tonight and research very specific and useless internet lore, even though you do have a test tomorrow.
