What year is it? Because I thought it was 2026, three years after New Zealand’s last election, making it an election year. The behaviour of our political leaders does not seem to line up with this.
There’s no denying that as idyllic as the world would be if we all made educated votes based purely on our belief in a party’s ability to run the country; most of us vote for personalities, not policies. So, it’s a shame that our two options for Prime Minister seem to have no interest in being seasoned with anything other than salt and pepper.
Let’s start with Chris 1 – the blue Chris. Having set the election date so late into the year (7th of November 2026, don’t miss it) you’d think he’d be using this time to prove to potential voters the strength of his leadership. Instead, he left Nicola Willis to take most of the fuel crisis press conferences. This would have been a good strategy for trying to soft launch her as National’s new leader, but not for trying to assert yourself as an ideal Prime Minister.
The beginnings of a war during an election year would be tough for any sitting government, but shaky leadership only makes things tougher. Blue Chris/Chris 1/Bald Chris missed the opportunity to prove himself in this crisis and garner support.
To absolutely no one’s surprise, rumours then started creeping through the media about the apparent lack of faith within the National caucus regarding his leadership. Bald Chris then held a confidence vote, which ended up keeping him and his shiny head in power – for now. A formal motion of confidence doesn’t stop the public from wondering what exactly called for the confidence vote in the first place, nor does it stop journalists from reporting on speculation surrounding his leadership. What also doesn’t stop journalists from reporting on him is withdrawing from his weekly appearance on the morning show Breakfast in response.
This is all to say that none of this is election-year behaviour. Only 16% of Verian poll respondents named Blue Chris as their preferred Prime Minister, which isn’t good news so close to an election. The only consolation one can offer is that Red Chris doesn’t seem to be doing much better.
There are two things than an opposition leader must do in preparation for an election:
Ginger Chris seems to be great at the former, but not so much the latter. Labour is currently intentionally withholding policies until the budget is out. It’s not the worst idea to avoid making promises that can’t be kept, but a lack of policies to vote for isn’t going to bring anyone in. Only 19% of Verian poll respondents wanted Red Chris as their Prime Minister, despite Labour being the favoured party in the same poll. Chippy may not be giving people new reasons not to vote for him, but he isn’t giving anyone a reason to vote for him, either. A general pushback against National might get him in power, but a lack of enthusiasm will cause Labour to lose votes – and therefore list MPs – to the other left-wing parties.
Where’s the marketing? The pizzazz? If it’s not the politician you hate, it’s the politician you’re bored of. The absolute lack of passion in this election is taking the soul out of politics. Can somebody tell a Chris, any Chris, to put their fucking back into it?
