MY ROFLCOPTER GOES SWOI SWOI SWOI SWOI
Auckland police have arrested a man after he used a laser to blind a police helicopter. The suspect, a Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, had been constructing his Helicopterpilotblinderinator for several weeks leading up to his arrest.
A NIGHT OUT (OF DATE)
Grab your Aelfric Eden and Shein essentials! On the 25th of April, Hamilton’s nightlife will be time warped by the Outback and Vodka Cruiser’s Y2K-Themed party. A groundbreaking concept, once again proving that John Lawrenson has his finger right on the pulse of what Highschoolers thought was cool 2 years ago.
MAYOR’S LITTLE TANGENT
Woke cyclones are the talk of the town thanks to Hawke’s Bay mayor Craig Little.
And in other, unrelated news, Facebook; when should you tell grandpa it’s time to put the phone down?
Not-Newsmaker of the week:
The night of the 14th of April, 24 Year old Justin Evans, a Kiwi monk, vanished from a remote Scottish monastery.
Personally, dear reader, I think it’s pretty obvious that Evans happened to be the only person in the whole world God thought should get raptured.
