As of February 26th, I have been engaged to my amazing fiancé. We are both 20 years old and have been together for 3 years, we have a house, two dogs, three horses and a plan for our future together. All to say I am so incredibly happy…but a lot of people aren’t. I have had a concerning amount of criticism about my engagement, mostly centred around our age.
Last time I checked, generationally, marrying young has been the norm. In the 19th and early 20th century, unfortunately, girls would be married off in their teens, aged anywhere from 14 and above. This has most definitely changed throughout recent history, but statistically the most common age for marriage has been between 20-27 years old. A lot of the hate I have gotten has been from either, my parents’ generation, aka Gen X, or our current Gen Z generation. In the 70’s it became a big craze avoid young marriage, and with the rise of modern feminism and breaking old traditions, our current mindset is to play the field and escape the ‘homemaker’ gender roles. However, I thought these generation were also fighting for self-autonomy. The ability to choose for yourself and not allow others to dictate your life.
I think we judge too much. Constantly, we judge each other, on social media, with gossip and specifically when others do things we personally wouldn’t do. I am, most definitely, a participator in this judging game, but I am also a victim; so, I pose the question, why do we judge blind? Without, knowing any information? Without experiencing something for ourselves? We need to start inviting other choices, respecting each other’s paths, and maybe, just maybe, try to understand everyone’s differences. Of course, I understand the worries, the issues behind young marriage, and the history behind women’s struggles. Hence why, I don’t understand the judgement I’m getting. I am choosing this.
So, yes, I am 20 years old, engaged, and planning my wedding. Are people telling me I’m ‘way’ too young? Yes. Am I being hated on for fulfilling ‘traditional female’ roles in becoming a young wife? Yep. Do people constantly try and talk me out of it, mentioning divorce rates and their own flaws in their relationships? Oh yeah. But I’ve decided to just fucking ignore it. I’m happy, I’m excited and I’m ready. The judgement stops here.
