HURL HURRELL TO HELL 

Fonterra big boss – and I say big with zero exaggeration, look at the guy – Miles Hurrell made it clear that the cost of butter is not something he intends to do anything about… In long words, this means that Fonterra will continue to talk big chops about how the ‘global market’ dictates their decision money they’re bringing in from exporting – a projected 25 billion, with a big B – will make its way back to our pockets. He goes so far to say that the 60% increase that we’ve seen in Butter is a ‘good sign’ for the New Zealand economy, and I can picture the hog fuck milking himself as he watches the numbers and lines jump up the graph. The short message then, to families across the country who are forced to choose between butter or milk or bread each week, is a decisive ‘Get fucked!’ from Hurrell, while NACTFirst tuck their three tails between their legs and waddle off – with a little cum in their pants, too, from how badass and Reagen-Esque Fonterra is.  

If you (or people you know) are struggling with affording food, websites like zerohunger.org.nz and Foodbank New Zealand may be able to help you

DID YOU KNOW? 

In New Zealand, you can e-mail our current deputy prime minister ([email protected]) rage bait and, within 2 hours, you will get a personal response from him calling you and your behavior ‘drop kick’? Don’t you believe me? Well, here’s a screenshot of an email exchange between David and Twitter user @smithkstead where he does exactly that to deflect from the fact that he spearheads the A.ctual C.hronic T.Sex pest Party. 
The T is silent, obviously. 

NEWSMAKER

Nexus wants to celebrate Greg Foran, CEO of Air New Zealand, who has overseen the safe passage of thousands of young Kiwis fleeing our shitty country across the Tasman, for better prospects in Australia.

THOUSAND WORDS