MAKE TRASH THE ART TO YOUR INNER PICASSO

Flatmate a good cunt? Then you gotta treat them with a taster of your beautiful magnum opus – Trash: That’s not a living space, it’s your canvas. Why simply take out the bins when you can use them to create a dynamic, ever evolving masterpiece!? Scatter empty pizza boxes throughout the kitchen as if painting stars in a night sky, arrange cans, and bottles into vibrant and impactful sculptures throughout the living room. Let your used napkins flutter about like warm, inviting orange autumn leaves, (bonus point if you use the ones from your last jerkmate ranked session).

TURNING THE FLAT INTO A STRIP CLUB

Your flatmates don’t pull like you do so as the generous soul you are, you should show them something they will never see. Make sure to use all communal areas like a pregame lounge and leave a fun decorative trail of discarded clothes. If you ever get a complaint, hit them with a “shh” and a “Don’t hate the sinner, hate the thin walls.

HELPING OUT WITH RENT BY BECOMING A SOUND CLOUD RAPPER

A stable job? You’re already in uni that ship has sailed. But because you’re such an amazing person you gotta invest in your future as a rap legend. Your flatmates don’t get it as soon as your SoundCloud career takes off you’ll pay off the 2 months of overdue rent. Make sure to blast your own tracks at full volume and record those ad-libs at 2 AM! Invite all your other “rapper” friends and host every trashy rappers favourite living room freestyling session.

MAKE A TREASURE HUNT OF LOST ITEMS

If you see your flatmates item? Make sure to take it and use it! Spice up your flatmates lives and hide those important items in creative locations. Important documents? Sounds like it should be in the freezer! Got car keys? Taping it to the ceiling sounds pretty good. Once hidden write down some cryptic clues like “Sorry used your keys cuz.” Shrug whenever they ask you about it and gaslight them into believing you never had such items.