Crush of the Week

The lil lizards in the carpark 🙂 

Imagine you’re walking from the main carpark at uni towards the cafes and shops and stuff. Obviously, you’re going to be in a less-than-optimal mood because you arrived later than 9am so you had to park in Timbuktu and now you have to learn/sit in a lecture for two hours. BUT WAIT. OUT OF THE CORNER OF YOUR EYE. A LIZARD. Automatically, your day improves! You now have the knowledge that little reptilian friends are also seeking higher education. Wonderful. (You might have to play a little game of Where’s Wally to find them, but I’m 99% sure that they’re most likely garden skinks; they’re fucking quick and teeny tiny, so I can’t really tell.)

TOP 5

Things the Uni ABSOLUTELY Needs 
  • Collectible Blind Box Action Figures of our favourite UOW icons. The rarest one can be the Grebe who stands in the middle of the big pond like Jesus. 
  • A Game Show. Something like Task Master. If I win, then they knock off a few papers for me so I can graduate early.  
  • One HUGE Red Button in the middle of the Village Green. It doesn’t do anything, but it’s *mysterious*. 
  • A Car Park Reserved Specifically for Me. I’m sick of having to park a 10-minute walk away. I came here to unenthusiastically learn, why am I exercising? 
  • Swords.
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QUOTES

Things I’ve Overheard at Uni (In the First Week Back) 
  • “What’s the dish called in Ratatouille?” 
  • “It’s merge like a zip, not be a cunt.” 
  • “Papa Smurf has huge DILF energy.” 
  • (Excitedly, yet gently approaching a duck) “Hi Buddy!” (Is immediately bitten by said duck) 
  • “If my MHRA referencing had a face, I’d punch it.”