Crush of the Week
The lil lizards in the carpark 🙂
Imagine you’re walking from the main carpark at uni towards the cafes and shops and stuff. Obviously, you’re going to be in a less-than-optimal mood because you arrived later than 9am so you had to park in Timbuktu and now you have to learn/sit in a lecture for two hours. BUT WAIT. OUT OF THE CORNER OF YOUR EYE. A LIZARD. Automatically, your day improves! You now have the knowledge that little reptilian friends are also seeking higher education. Wonderful. (You might have to play a little game of Where’s Wally to find them, but I’m 99% sure that they’re most likely garden skinks; they’re fucking quick and teeny tiny, so I can’t really tell.)
TOP 5
Things the Uni ABSOLUTELY Needs
- Collectible Blind Box Action Figures of our favourite UOW icons. The rarest one can be the Grebe who stands in the middle of the big pond like Jesus.
- A Game Show. Something like Task Master. If I win, then they knock off a few papers for me so I can graduate early.
- One HUGE Red Button in the middle of the Village Green. It doesn’t do anything, but it’s *mysterious*.
- A Car Park Reserved Specifically for Me. I’m sick of having to park a 10-minute walk away. I came here to unenthusiastically learn, why am I exercising?
- Swords.
QUOTES
Things I’ve Overheard at Uni (In the First Week Back)
- “What’s the dish called in Ratatouille?”
- “It’s merge like a zip, not be a cunt.”
- “Papa Smurf has huge DILF energy.”
- (Excitedly, yet gently approaching a duck) “Hi Buddy!” (Is immediately bitten by said duck)
- “If my MHRA referencing had a face, I’d punch it.”
