5. Moana – Homer waited 2700 years for his sailing epic to get a blockbuster live-action adaptation, Disney barely waited 10. Have some fucking patience.
4. Michael – Oof, you know it’s BAD! Ow! Shamone!
3. Masters of the Universe – Who was this for?
2. Melania – We don’t have to explain this one. The only thing this movie excelled at was emptying cinemas for a guaranteed make-out spot your flatmates wouldn’t walk in on – and if they did walk in, that’s a good sign to get new flatmates.
1. Wuthering Heights – Not only were we all hating it from the first trailer – you also forgot this movie released this year. Wuthering Heights lost all its teeth to become a glossy YA toxic lovers smut novel, and while there is NOTHING wrong with those types of books Wuthering Heights is more. It’s an unfortunate allegory for how society drown out the uncomfortable loud noises of class, power and racial disparities to only hear the hollow echoes of a Charli XCX-induced sensual ignorance. A poor start to the generational film run we had this year.
