A Kleptomaniac Stole This Column
Bro, I went to Kmart and I stood right in front of the checkout so that I wouldn’t steal because I’ve got a bad stealing problem when it comes to Kmart. Like, nowhere else I will steal. In Kmart, I will steal. Tell me why I accidentally walked out with this. I didn’t even want […]
Confessions of a Theatre Kid: Tales of The Big Sing
If you ever get incredibly bored and need something to fill your time, I suggest finding @nzchoirconfessions on Instagram. What you will soon discover is a subgenre of arts nerds, Choir Kids… And they all have crushes on each other. The Big Sing Finale and Cadenzas are rapidly approaching, and it’s jogged my memory of […]
History 4 Dummies
Hannibal Fucks up the Romans The year is 218 BC, into our story walks Hannibal Lecter. He’s a one-eyed Carthaginian General (from modern day Tunisa, north Africa) who’s got his mind set on invading Rome. The issue is, Hannibal has no navy, (long story, they previously got fucked by Rome, and they aren’t allowed a […]
Nexus Knows Issue 16
Anonymous: To date or not to date during uni? That is the question. Nexus: This is an incredibly valid thing to consider. The answer, really, depends on the person and what you find out about yourself by evaluating. What is most important to you, and will you be able to achieve it and feel […]
Illegal =/= immoral
The fallacy that something that is illegal is immediately wrong and immoral is one that has continued to persevere through generations. This rigid worldview seems especially persistent among older generations, arguably due to a combination of anti-intellectualism, growing up in a time with limited access to diverse media and critical discourse (and maybe lead poisoning). […]
Nexus Knows
How to hack nexus and blow up the servers? Honestly, most of the staff don’t have as much energy as is required to get through the day. Give them a coffee or an energy drink and you’ll quite possibly get pointed in the right direction with no need to put that much effort into it. […]
To Run or To Walk
When the weather turns to shit and the sky can’t stop sobbing, one debate never fails to be brought up: did the Myth Busters prove you get less wet if you run or walk in the rain? I, once and for all, will settle that debate today. In the year 2003, Mr and Mr Myth […]
Editorial – Issue 17 2025
When Toby asked me if I’d like to write the editorial for a ‘newspaper’ theme, my first thought – and words – were ‘Yea, sure.’ And then once I’d left the office and was halfway down the motorway, I was thinking to myself… What the fuck will that look like? The News is something […]
Damaged Cells Aotearoa’s Prison System
This issue contains plenty of discussion on crime itself, its social and political foundation, and even its distortion into entertainment, but very little on its consequences. Aotearoa has 18 prisons. Under a Labour Government, our prison population dropped more than 25%, however under our right-wing coalition, has exceeded 10,000 inmates for the first time in […]
I’ll Be Your Favourite Author’s Favourite Author
Ever since I could remember, I’ve been a writer. It’s been in my blood since the first day I picked up a pen and discovered I could create whatever I wanted out of nothing but the ink, a random piece of paper, and whatever my imagination could possibly think to throw at me. If it […]