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Slightly Stoned Chef – Issue 14




S & P




Butter or oil

Other shit from your fridge


Recipe 1: Basic Omelette for Basic Bitches


  1. Start with a cold pan and add some butter or oil, let it heat to a midpoint. Don’t use the cooking spray that is the Orchard Park of grease.
  2. Whisk three eggs in a bowl with, honestly, whatever works. Then tip it in the pan.
  3. When the egg starts to get omelette-y on the edges, use a spatula to move the cooked parts to the centre. Keep doing that until it looks like an omelette.
  4. Now add salt and pepper, cheese, bung in some other leftover shit from your fridge that might work. Then tip the pan and slide one side over till you make an omelette.

NB Remember if you fuck this up you still basically made scrambled eggs so just don’t tell people it is going to be an omelette before hand. That is this week’s bonus recipe.


Recipe 2: Egg-a-Dillas


  1. Pretty much the exact same as the omelette but when shit gets all omletey on the side slam a tortilla over it press lightly with your hand for 30 seconds then flip the tortilla over and the egg is cemented to it stiffer than socks found under a bed in studville.
  2. Flip it over smash some shit from the fridge in it, or better yet cook some in advance Bacon, Ham or for some weird childhood reason luncheon sausage all tend to work, and you have a breakfast quesadilla


Recipe 3: French Toast


  1. Some whisked eggs.
  2. Some people are going to tell you to add milk, those people are wrong.
  3. Throw in some slightly, old bread and swish it around.
  4. Jam it in the frying pan till it doesn’t look like eggy bread.
  5. Resist the urge to chuck entra shit in with this.
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