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Top Walks Near You – Issue 4

In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. As a self-titled critic, I risk very little, yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and themselves to my judgement. I thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and read. That is where I find myself now doing what I do best; critiquing the work and labour of others. Though the bitter truth is, in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than the criticism I assign to it. But there are times when I truly risk something in the discovery and defence of something new. Often, the world is unkind to something new, like a new birth or talent. The new needs companions. This week I experienced something new: two parks while walking. To say that the parks challenged the critic is true. They shook me to my core. In the past, I made it no secret for my disdain of Greensboro and Hillcrest scenery. But I realize, only now have I truly changed my mind. Not everyone can become an expert park critic, except myself of course. It is difficult to imagine more humble beginnings than my own, a genius, who has nothing less than the finest opinions in Hamilton East. I write of my experiences, eager to share with you. 


Greensboro Park


To say the least, Greensboro Park elicited something from my early childhood. Upon playing frisbee in the back yard as a kid, Greensboro has the same smell and the slight overcast even on the sunnier days. It is not a vibrant green nor does it shy away from colour. However, just because Greensboro elicits early childhood memories does not mean it clouds my judgement to critique. 


Scenery Rating


I usually give out a little wee when I see something beautiful. I didn’t wee when I walked through Greensboro park. You know what that means. Yeah, it doesn’t score high on the scenery rating. To the outsider who doesn’t get out much, they may have different opinions. The odd placement of flax growing on the outskirts isn’t very surprising so much like the poorly clipped grass. On a scale of ‘walk to improve wellbeing’ I’d give it a 5/10. If you wanted to have a quick pace off-campus between your lectures and outside of campus than this isn’t it. Greensboro Park had potential but falls short much like you peaking in high school. It also gives you the impression you will be mugged in broad daylight. Don’t be a dick and get mugged, do better. 


Hillcrest Park


On the weekend’s Hillcrest Park will be flooded by cricketers, drunk men, OR drunk men joining in with the cricketers. During the week, however, it is a different story. Hillcrest wasn’t always suburbs. What once was a farming district now turned family suburbs- peep the ‘Hill’ and ‘Crest’, put it together and you have Hillcrest. 


Scenery Rating 


This one has a toilet so it automatically scores a higher scenery rating. If you aren’t one for an industrial toilet stop the strategically planted trees make for an inconspicuous number two. 

Hillcrest unlike Hamilton East has always been more predominant for family living. But the best of all is not the perfectly cemented walkway. Instead, it is the mini forest allowing you to relax and take in the fresh(ish) smells. On a scale of ‘walk to improve wellbeing’ Hillcrest Park gets an 8/10. It’s no garden but it’ll do.