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Retail Spaces – Issue 20

Alright, the retail spaces on campus very obviously need a bit of attention. We’ve lost both the banks (which weren’t very exciting anyway). Let’s cater a bit more towards the wants of students and less towards the essentials for living. Because let’s be real, none of us want to grow up just yet. 

Students love a feed the morning after a big night sinking their weight in piss, and they’ll always harp on about PLU93 from KFC being sent here by God himself or some shit. So that’s why we’re going to implement a Bakehouse Cafe. I know I’ll get hung, drawn, and quartered for this but KFC isn’t even that good. You pay an arm and a leg for some greasy, malnourished chicken from some battery farm in Taranaki. It’s not healthy either, so that’s why we’re going to put in a slightly healthier option of a bakery. Having a bakery on a University campus is a license to print money, mark my words. 

The next space would be taken up by yet another student need. A laundromat. However this laundromat is located on campus so you can choose to spend your time at the library, in a class, at the pub, or shopping while your washing is getting done. Could you imagine walking to class with your mates and holding a basket of your dirty washing? Absolutely no shame in that I say. It would also alleviate some of the stress that comes with owning second hand washing machines and dryers, because that doesn’t always turn out to be the greatest experience. Besides that, they also take up a lot of a power bill, so if the uni or student union owned them, it could make for great cuts to living costs for students. 

Students love a bargain, and they also hate to spend a fortune on clothes. Quite often you’ll find them sifting around an op shop or SaveMart for those cheeky deals. We realise this, and that’s why we’re going to add a Rodd and Gunn store. Let’s be real, that first part was a lie. The amount of students I’ve seen wearing some kind of Rodd and Gunn polo or jumper is too many to count. Those things are at least $150 a pop. The store they have in Chartwell is usually pretty empty too, so why not give it a site where it’ll actually get a bit of traffic. This wouldn’t be the only clothes store of course, we would also put in a Glassons so we can please both the basic boys then the basic girls. However, if you’re a little alti we will also whack in a Recycle Boutique. We might even have these in the pop up container style shops that were in Christchurch, and they can rotate out to different stores each year. Each store can put in a tender for a year contract near the end of each year, so we can get variety throughout the years.

University students also love their technology, right? When you move out of halls and into a flat, you’re on the hunt for TV’s, cords, Xbox’s, Playstations, speakers, etc. These will be at low prices of course for those who don’t really want to drop an absolute fortune at Noel Leeming in Centre Place. 

Fuck it, let’s have a marijuana dispensary. It will also be on the end closest to the Nexus Office. We’re not even sure if we will let the results of the referendum, and vote after it, decide if we will do it or not. We’re just going to straight up do it, regardless of what the law says. It will have all sorts of goodies for you to try out in between classes. We can’t wait for it though, these damn horoscopes don’t write themselves. On top of that, why don’t we move Thirsty Liquor Hillcrest there too? Down in Dunners they have a bottle store right next to their campus known as Leith Liquor. Why don’t we one up them and have one right on it? We’ve already got a few pubs where you can go and relieve stress, but let’s take that one step further so you can pick up a box on the way home if you absolutely cock up one of your tests and need to do some proper reflecting.

So that’s it for our retail space, I think that would overall spice things up a bit as well as give retailers the chance to dip their toes a bit more into the student demographic.