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Blind Date – Issue 15

He’s a dashing blonde third year business student – washed up triathlete now turned full time sesh-gremlin looking for something on the side. She’s a tall, leggy brunette who has only just popped up on the market and is looking for her golden retriever surfer boy.


After a couple of Long Whites, I ventured off to my date at House. Soon a beautiful beezy rocked up. Much to my disappointment she didn’t have a dog because it turns out my date wasn’t blind? Weird. Anywho, cocktails were on the menu, followed by a few dumplings. Fortunately, her good chat compensated for my incoherent conversation and the evening was going well. Turned out she was sporty and smart which is out the gate but unfortunately, she’s from New Plymouth. No matter how good you are, you’ll always be from New Plymouth. The drinks were going down well, it was at this point (after a few drinks) I realised she’d had a little rendezvous with my flatmate a few evenings prior… very interesting. She then went on to refer to herself as ‘thick in the head – not in the ass’ which couldn’t have been more spot-on. At the end of the night she came back to mine but with an early shift in the morning she headed off. All in all, it was a good evening, she was easy to talk to and I felt like we got along. Good chat, lovely girl. 8/10


It was your classic blind date start, I was late, the lady at the bar had no idea where I was meant to be going, but I eventually sat down, and the alcohol started to flow. The evening started well with the usual small talk until I realised he was the flatmate of someone that I’ve had some “history” with and have actually met the poor bloke one dusty morning… yikes. The mixture of wine and cocktails ramped up the conversation and honestly, I was starting to have a pretty good time! Turns out he got roped into the date by one of the editors (who said I’m “pretty hot”, so I’m definitely frothing that) but we ended up having a lot in common which I was shocked about. I am an absolute thot for red flags, and unfortunately this guy was actually half-decent. Although he kept calling me a vegetable and compared me to an onion because I’m as ditsy as they come. Pretty rich coming from a business student. According to him, I bring the IQ of Hamilton down and if the alcohol didn’t kill his brain cells then I definitely would. Oh darl, you really know how to make a girl feel special! Once the bar tab ran dry I wasn’t exactly sure what to do from there. Being an honorary #daddygang member who knew what was on the cards? We ended up back at his flat and this is where the story gets a little spicy. So obviously the guy I already knew was there, plus my blind date. At this point in the evening I was seriously starting to question my life choices. I also need to mention that these guys aren’t just flatmates, they are the friendship-bracelet-hair-plaiting-bromance buds. Being the little curious hoe I am, I did wonder if perhaps my evening could end with not one but two guys. I realised I was way over my head, far too tipsy and honestly just needed to dip. I scurried back to my friends flat where I was staying for the evening and after a few failed booty call attempts I decided to call it a night. Cheers Nexus for the date and not stitching me up too badly. It was a good time with an evening of high potential, but win some, lose most, right?