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David Seymour – “Barry Crump Fund”

Never did I imagine I would be spending my Thursday afternoon watching a bunch of adults spit their dummies at one another. In all honesty, I didn’t even know the budget day was a thing; My bills are paid and there is food on the table, I really couldn’t give a fuck. Nevertheless, I continued on the “what do I even listen out for” journey.

Thirty minutes in, and it was then, I began to see the similarities between them and me. We were all clock watching, maybe not for the same reasons, but hey, that was a plus for me. So I continued watching, thinking this isn’t too bad after all.

It is now the end of James Shaw’s speech, and my curiosity began to grow. I was now wondering who David Seymour is? And when does he speak? Do I even have the right channel? It was silent, and I heard “David Seymour.” I almost felt this was an official introduction, similar to one of those fancy buffet events. “Thank you Mr speaker” ( why does have that label he barely speaks) I was excited like a kid in the candy store why? Fuck knows.

Straight off the bat, I’m hearing “burrowing, spending and investing money” I’m like shit you lost me pal, but I had to regain my focus cause I was on “that mission.” What made things worse, I felt like I was sitting next to my five-year-old niece trying to read her first book out loud. I thought surely he’s taking the piss – he wasn’t. Honestly, I could understand what he was saying, and I couldn’t agree with him more when he mentioned Winston Peters not knowing what century he is in, I mean fuck that speech was a whole lot of nothing. Then David hits again with the “Barry Crump fund” I’m like shit this guy must have been a comedian in his past life because even I had a giggle.

Wallabies? Fuck Seymour, you got me on a tourism trip now. I’m getting more excited because I’m enjoying these tangents, and I have no fucking idea where I’m going to end up. Lesshhgo.

There are “over 200 million dollars to reinforce the message it’s ok to send your children to school with no lunch”, I must admit my smile left quickly I was beginning to think that’s why I don’t know you we don’t share the same philosophies. However, I could hear what he was saying for future purposes; the debt will increase that our children will suffer through again mixed review on that comment, and it was understandable on both sides. You can’t be blindsiding me, David. Fuck.

We are off to Taiwan now, and I’m a fool for traveling, so he’s regained my attention. There’s a comparison with New Zealand and Taiwan, and he reminds us of NZ having the strictest lockdown and, sacrifices we made for our economy curve to flatten. In my opinion, does it fucking matter?

I cannot entirely agree with that part of the political spectrum; however, for this review, I hear the ACT party’s frustration. Was it necessary to spend a considerable amount on the restoration of employment? Is it possible to rebuild an economy based on loans, or are digging ourselves a hole? Similar to a Gem card looks pretty and shiny, makes you feel good, but then strikes you with unaffordable repayments? Only time will tell.

In conclusion, my journey? Well, I fucking loved it, will you find me here again in a year? Nah, fuck off. I do have to say, David Seymour, you took me on a ride without leaving my couch, and for that, I acknowledge you. Is it worth handing my assignments in late fuck no, but it was an educational distraction, so no complaints there?