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Diminutive Post – Issue 7

Entitled Millennials Celebrate Earth Day

Earth day 2020 came with the usual 12 hours of pretending like the fact that our memories, culture and grandchildren are going to burn isn’t our fault. However this year seems to be rather different with many of the richer, and therefore wiser, young adults sharing pics of their exotic, tropical holidays with mundane captions. Nexus interviewed some of the country’s top climate scientists. “Honestly it was eureka moment” says Adam Stern, one of Hamilton’s resident climate scientists. “I honestly was ready to give up until Hannah posted that picture of the beach with the earth day filter on it, I was dead set going to throw in the towel”. This clearly shows that the conversation around climate change, and the impacts it will have on this generation, are really starting to heat up, however not as fast as our planet.

Boomer Takes On Social Media

The social media giants that seem to dominate today’s society have been left bewildered, broken, and wondering what the hell just happened.

Recently, scores of older, wiser, and quite frankly, better people have been rejecting the likes of Facebook and Twitter to use any of their personal information. We found an example in Clive, a father of 3, grandfather of 1, managed to deliver a sensational blow to these corrupt companies via Facebook last night. It reads, “I do not give Facebook permission to use my personal information or print anything from my computer.” (This, of course, happened shortly after his bi-monthly racist rant on immigration and his seventh upload of his profile picture).

This has left the platform New Zealand’s Facebook, rattled, “We were just ramping things up and getting ready to sell his information to Al Qaeda, but he hit us with that sucker punch! Fuck you, Clive!” reads a statement received by Nexus.

Stay strong Clive; Not all heroes wear capes.

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Editorial – Issue 8