I guess it’s true when they say there’s a first for everything. Never did I imagine I would be here writing an editorial piece for a student magazine. All odds stacked against me with my writing skills tutored by youtube, editing dependent on Grammarly and inspiration drawn from my four wallpaper-less walls. Could this piece get any more exciting?
We are going through some tough shit. More robust than the Dave West “back in my day” stories, which if you get the time, ask him about it. It’s pretty clear the situation we are all in. Essential workers on shit dollars an hour are keeping the country running and our hopes alive. I mean who else goes to the supermarket to purchase toilet paper to see if anyone else is breathing? Sometimes you have to wonder, Is this the real-life bird box, type of shit? Then, of course, our non-essential workers become CrossFit kings and queens due to their workload being heavier now then physically going into work. This and realizing that a gym membership isn’t a necessity and the grass patch with Kmart weights are workable.
Then there is us, the students. The MP’s aim during the election year. We pay $800+ per paper to be taught via Facebook messenger, Powerpoint, or Zoom. Panopto and the internet are out of the game with the crash rates higher than the road toll and connection weaker than the journalist questions at the 1 o’clock announcements. Surely a refund is in order? And yes, before this all spirals out of control, I know it can’t be helped, and it makes more sense, but if I can’t use this platform to voice our frustrations. Where can I do it? If Australia can give our pavlova rights back to us in exchange for our prime minister shit, anything is possible.
Speaking of, “Stay home, save lives”? I’m almost certain staying home is comfortable enough (eye’s emoji); however, with a kid and his body parts used for decoration and the teaching skills (revert to youtube tutorials), I’ve developed in the 24-hour turnaround. Ka Aroha whaea Jacinda, the “save lives,” can’t be promised.
What I can promise is a jam-packed line up we have for you. Jack stack is back, back again (too much?) Quarantine diaries have been refreshed ready for a study break. The big boss is addressing those hard issues—sex in the Tron and Aunty slut team up for some double trouble. Queen K is in the kitchen with some creamy delights and, of course, some of your all-time favourites to keep you quaran-tained with a surprise from Lyam for all your day one followers.
In saying all of this e te iwi, all the dry humour aside. Look out for your loved ones, keep them close but the fridge closer. Take this time to reset, learn what makes you, you. Appreciate the fresh air, birds chirping, and the restoration of papatūānuku. Lastly, but yes, the most important thing is to prove Youtube is just as useful as your lecturer.