Nexus: Can you just please introduce yourself?
Campbell: Yeah g’day, I’m Campbell Brown.
Nexus: So, what made you get a mullet?
Campbell: Cause it’s fuckin’ sick and the boys from rugby got them so thought “oh yo I’ll join the bandwagon.”
Nexus: Excellent. Can you describe where and when the mullet was cut?
Campbell: Um, first time was just in the bros backyard. My mate gave me a haircut.
Nexus: Perfect. Do you have any mullet plans?
Campbell: Keep it going. Yeah. Fuck yeah.
Nexus: What have been some of the best and worst reactions to your mullet?
Campbell: One chick told me to cut it off and she’d sleep with me, I said no. I don’t know, everyone loves it bro.
Nexus: How has the mullet changed your interaction with females?
Campbell: Still get heaps of pussy.
Nexus: Has it changed your rugby abilities?
Campbell: Yeah, makes me faster.
Nexus: Do you have any words of advice for people considering getting mullets?
Campbell: Just do it, get one. You’ll never regret it.
Nexus: Choice. How would you describe your mullet?
Campbell: Luscious. So sexy. It’s on fire. It’s a pussy magnet.
Nexus: Does your mullet have a nickname?
Campbell: Nah it doesn’t. If I had to give it one, I’d just call it Cobber.
Nexus: And just lastly, do you have anyone that you wanna thank?
Campbell: Yeah, thank all the boys. And thank the bro, Cullen, for giving me the mullet.