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Dear Aunty Slut,

How can I last longer when having sex? It’s getting embarrassing, and it’s at the point where I feel so anxious about it I’m avoiding it. My current girlfriend is amazing- she tells me she takes it as a compliment but I can tell she’s frustrated and trying not to show it. I know I’m not pleasing her sexually, but I don’t know what to do!


Dear Quickfire,

There are a myriad of ways you can make yourself last longer, but before I outline any of them I want to say that there is more to life than penis-vagina sex! Life is not all about you and your ejaculation! The world will not end if you come too soon, but it might if you decide that’s the end of the sexy time.

So you come too soon, big fucking deal. Keep going! You’re not really feeling it after you’ve come? Well your partner definitely isn’t feeling it if you blow your load in 30 seconds flat. I hope I don’t need to say the word ‘cunnilingus’ here- because I’m sure you’re already pleasuring your partner before you get to the penetration part. Right? Right?

Anyway- often the easiest way to last longer is to come once, do something else for a little bit *cough*cunnilingus*cough* and then have another go. You can’t get hard for an hour after coming? What a shame… On a more serious note, if you find it difficult to maintain an erection once you’ve ejaculated a cock ring may help. It sits around the base of your cock and helps keep the blood in. They come in all sorts of colours and sizes, they even have nice tickly bits to please your partner. You can find them at any sex shop, or order one online.

There are lots of ways to last longer, but in my experience, the best way is to have ridiculous amounts of sex. In the morning, at lunch, before dinner, and before bed. By the time you get to round four, you’re going to last longer. By the time you get through several days of this, you’re definitely going to last longer. Practice makes perfect Quickfire!

If your partner isn’t around during the day- masturbate. Often guys try to flick one out in the shortest time possible, which can sort of ‘train’ their body that when it gets sexually stimulated, it’s a race. Slow your wanking sessions down and practice not coming by contracting your bladder muscle: imagine you’re trying to stop peeing mid flow (you can practice this while actually peeing too).

Other things that may help: wearing a thicker condom to help lessen the orgasmic feeling (you can get condoms that numb sensation too), have your woman on top, or grind in her instead of thrusting.

And if all else fails, go ask student health for a dose of Cialis.

Love, Aunty Slut

Send your sexy sex questions to auntyslut@nexusmag.co.nz