Slime rises. It creeps and crawls, slithering through cracks you cannot see in the light. It feasts on the very fabric of our society, steadily gnawing away at our most sacred morals. However, this slime is neither mould, nor liquid, nor three day old vomit, it is human just like you and I.

Here we are from where we left. The stage is set, the speakers are tuned, and the big WSU Orientation Week finale is about to begin. Walking through the gates to the Comedy Show, I can feel the crowd buzzing with anticipation. A full house signals the quality and professionalism of the WSU to attract students to fun and exciting events – and the Thursday comedy night did not disappoint.

Whipping the Green into an intoxicated state of laughter were three of the funniest men in New Zealand: Steve Wrigley, Ben Hurley, and Jamie Watson. No one was spared throughout all of the acts: children, transvestites, down syndrome children, bloody Maori, bloody Honkies – pretty much any taboo or extremely ethical subject.

After the laughter died away the crowds moved north to northwest towards town and greener pastures. The wagon trail of stumbling drunks was sure a sight to see; drunken students marching to their disfiguration three by three. Marching students off to get their drinking degrees; drunken students marching and one of them was me!

Only once a year will get to see the animals out of the zoo and for free. All different shapes and sizes moving so non-delicately from bar to bar, cage to cage. It makes one feel proud, waiting in line, observing the future minds of our wonderful society. O well look, that fine young man over there in a pile of vomit seems to be experimenting with different alcoholic compounds and their biological reaction – he’ll make a fine pharmacist. The girl in the red dress holding her boy’s bleeding head will make a great nurse after she stitches his face, and that guy in the pink shirt pushing into the line won’t turn out to be a paedophilic gym teacher. No more needs to be said about this night. No one really remembers anyway and best not said.

Friday morning I emerged onto the Green with the solemn few red-eyed troopers who had brazed their hangovers. “Hangover Hell” pretty much summed up the feeling and how quaint it was then that Hell Pizza had a promotional deal set up on the green with the same name. A bunch of hippies and gypsies then came to Momento and started up a hippie jam session otherwise known as a “Contact FM Busking Competition.” From 11:30am till 1:30pm, these buskers strutted their stuff for the chance to be crowd “World’s most talented, unsigned artist in the Waikato.”

Whilst strolling along the Green, feeling a little green, I bumped into WSU President Deni Tokunai. With a gigantic grin he proceeded to tell me all about how fantastic and faultless Orientation 2010 had been. Although I was still swimming between dream and reality, I managed to comprehend the utmost sincerity and genuine delight in Deni’s words; the feeling that he and all other WSU members, O’Week volunteers, and helpers had contributed towards a life defining event which will stick in every impressionable, first years mind.

“Overall it was very satisfying experience. Student behaviour was exceptionally good. All our ticketed events sold out. Participation from students and the community was very pleasing, really, it was just a great week for all,” said Deni Tokunai.

And so, like all great things must come to dust, O’Week 2010 ended forever. As a result there were many empty bottles, splitting headaches, and sore genitals, but there was something more significant behind it. Orientation Week 2010 showed Waikato University has the potential to be all it can be this year, and forever more. Now more than ever is our time to stand up and be heard – don’t be ashamed that you’re not at Otago, Auckland, or Wellington with the oh-so-cool hip kids who just love to party: make some good friends, experience your surroundings, become actively involved in your studies and the student community and you will see it’s not as bad as you think. Like the slogan for O’Week says – This is It! Well, “It” is Over, and “This” (your university life) has just