Lettuce Issue 23

Wins for Timing

Hi Students,

So now that Heather Roy and her generous and benevolent friends from National, ACT and United Futrue (thats the pompous guy with the permanant bad hair day who likes to preach on the evils of drink mainly) have awarded us with the freedom of voluntary student union membership. What are the unions plans for maintaining discounts and services provided by the student union for those that actually cough up and pay for them?

I believe that the Waikato Student Union need now to issue a membership card to be produced when accessing union funded services. No doubt a considerable number of the student body will opt out with a resulting hit to funding. What services remain must be conserved for those that actually contribute to the cost of running these services.

This would of course include producing your membership card when rolling up for that free snag on the the village green. Yes, off you go and enjoy the freedom of not having access to a free lunch and other most probably more important services.

Another reminder, National, ACT and United Future are seeking your votes at this years general election. Register and vote for anybody else but these guys if you don't approve of this little gem of social engineering that is the Freedom of Association bill. This is another part of an on going cynical agenda to remove lobbying by collective effort from the psyche of the general population that has been conducted over the last twenty years. I know this because I am old, and was in the workforce when the efforts to undermine union negotiated employment awards came into being to the distinct disadvantage of the guys actually doing the work.

You won't pull the wool over my eyes Brash and Co, I have seen and heard all about this "Freedom" before. The WSU can count on my membership next year.

Signed the experienced one.

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Lettuce Issue 22

Nexus Loves Romance

The Girl Next Door

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart. I’m struggling to find the words to describe my feelings, the way my insides melt when u smile. Gravity is not responsible for me falling in love, it is everything about you that’s dragged me in and I want to scream it from the roof tops. I’m not going to name names, cause my love you know who you are. The hours I spend with you I look upon as sort of a perfumed garden, a dim twilight, and a fountain signing to it...you and you alone make me feel that I am alive...Other men, it is said, have seen angels, but I have seen thee and thou art enough.

I love you not only for who you are, but for who I am when I’m with you.

BB70 

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Lettuce Issue 20

What Do You Reckon, Readers?

Kia ora Nexus Crew.....

My name is Kiriana Waru and this is my first year as a student at Te Whare Wananga o Waikato. I say this is my first year as a student but I’ve actually been around the University for ever, lol. My mum and dad both graduated in 1990. I was a 9 year old snotty nosed kid that hung around the University waiting for mum to finish all her classes and exams and now I’m a 30 year old snotty nosed lady studying here! :) Anywhoooooo..... I’m enrolled on to do a Bachelors of Arts in Maori and Pacific Development or maybe, conjoint with bachelors of education. I eventually want to make Interactive educational Cartoons/Animations like dragon ball z styled Maui legends, and Dora the explorer style for tama and Hine the adventurers.

When I’m not in the fun crazy cartoon making studio i want to be traveling around to schools doing music and performing arts productions about Maori myths and legends, kind of like Te Hei o Tahoka, Ahorangi Genesis.

As part of studying here and gaining my qualifications here at the BEST University in the world :) i would like to take this opportunity to also leave my mark here. Just as I is comfortable being here because my mum and dad both brought me here, I would like to leave a mark here for my children and my children’s children to feel comfortable to be here. So let me cut to the chase, I am an active Maori member of this society and i would appreciate hearing Maori music being played in the cafes on campus. I could have sworn i heard beautiful Indian music coming out of the cafe the other day, that’s great, but it made me feel a bit jealous. I want to encourage the cafes by the lakeside on campus to play some Whirimako Black, Hirini Melbourne for sure. Ok i did it! I said it! I’m not being racist, are you? If not play some Maori music then. Not all the time, but most of the time.

I haven’t seen a Maori column in the Nexus, you know like a kiwaha section. The latest Maori proverb of the 21 century maybe? Maybe even a Maori crossword to win a prize maybe. Maybe even a section for Maori students to have shout outs to other Maori students from other Universities maybe. Maybe even a section for the Maori Student Support Service Team of Waikato University to talk about any up and coming events specific to Maori Students.

And then to make it fair and respectful we can have a section for other indigenous students to talk about up and coming events in their countries. Well, there we go, i did it, the seed has been sown, let’s see what comes of this great seed of hope for a better comfortable university as a Maori student. 

Naku noa Kiriana Waru. OLD SKOOL  

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Lettuce Issue 18

You Win. Soooooooo Cute!

Dear the girl with the pink laptop, that I often see in the library.

You have a nice smile.

your smile lights up my day.

Your smile amazes me.

your smile makes me smile.

please keep smiling :)

From the boy in the corner with the boring black laptop.

PS, are you single? 

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Lettuce Issue 16

Refuted!

Dear "B"

Is your life that sad that you must write a letter such as last week's attack on nexus ? Is the thrill of waiting for a reply the highlight of your miserable existence ?

You were guaranteed at least one reply, but I’m guessing you banked on that.

There are two problems with your letter. Firstly, you question the demographic of the readers?  I'm not sure where you grew up exactly, but you make it sound like some small inbreed hick town, where everyone is forced into church. Here in Hamilton, a remotely civilised city, its not the case, so you are wrong. I know plenty of non-christians who didn't grow up this way. 

Nexus has always had articles on Christianity, for or against. More often against, but as a christian, im not offended by that. It's a way to find out how others are thinking.  Grow up, there is a real world out there, and they don't like the christians of today. Do ask we have been called, and love. 

“I like your Christ. I don't like your Christians. They are so unlike your Christ.” Ghandi. - you are a prime example of this

Secondly, never insult Nexus. Nexus is the beautiful. Even if occasionally the content is nothing short of worthy for toilet paper when the flat runs out, It is more worthy of publication than a thousand of your letters. If its such a " stupid, idiotic magazine" then dont read it. Problem solved. 

Please continue to publish controversial articles Nexus, they generally make good (educational?) light reads.

- Love and not hate.

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Lettuce Issue 14

High Contrast is Excellent!

HEY NEXUS AND UNI!

The Village Green needs something to draw more people down there.  If the WSU isn’t handing out free food while religious people try to sell you their wares, no one goes there. 

The only time I ever go to the Village Green is for the occasional beer, where after paying I feel like I’ve just been raped.  What the Village Green needs is a kickass little pub, a bar with some laxed as couches and a butt load of High Contrast playing so you can grab a chang (or a fancy beer, if you’re that way inclined), and sip it in affordable comfort.  It already sounds awesome enough.  But imagine adding to the liquid drum and bass some bean bags and Hookah pipes. 

Fuck I’d be there every day, philosophising and having a good time with a delicious Speights.  Stressed out students should have a place to kick back and the Village Green barely offers that at the moment.  Oh there are about twenty chairs for me sit at, wait, they’re all taken.  Bummer.  If only there was a pub, with Hookah pipes.  Then students could sit around and talk about important things like whether the world will end in 2012, and are Honey Badgers actually the most badass animals around.

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Lettuce Issue 12

Chalk Commando Wins!

JUST THINK! That’s the message that’s been turning up all over campus, followed by thinly veiled yet judgmental anti-abortion messages. There’s not much that gets me riled up enough to act, and maybe it had something to do with my good friend and Waikato Uni’s philosophy professor Alastair Gunn passing over the weekend, but I couldn’t pass Bennetts without buying a pack of chalk, and I couldn’t go to my office before making another circuit of the campus and writing a little rebuttal. I’m not saying my words were genius, but I felt people who have either experienced an abortion, or are in the process of making a decision deserve to know not everyone thinks they are wrong. I have two children and receive no support from the fathers at all. I knew that would be the case, I knew my life would be really hard and yet I didn’t consider an abortion because it wasn’t the right choice for me. But for many women, especially when they are at Uni struggling to get their lives really started, it is the right choice for them. And I figure it is their choice, not the government’s, not any God, and certainly not some pious person with a fat piece of chalk. Life is hard, we all do the best we can. So JUST THINK about that. 

Fiona Jackson

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Lettuce Issue 10

B+ Lettuce Wins

Dear Present and Possible Future Honours Students,

I have a problem with our Honours being conferred as 'First', 'Second', or 'Third' class.

The required average to enrol at Honours level is only “B/B+”. Presumably to capture more of us. However, if we maintain this average during our Honours year, it seems we will receive 'Honours, Second Class', when we graduate.

It seems to me that the university is conferring something that should be a positive academic distinction in a negatively discriminatory way.  And, since we are the ones paying, it seems we ought to be able to change this?

I propose that the university should instead confer 'Honours with Distinction' to mark out those people who do brilliantly well. I propose 'Honours with Merit' for people who attain above the B+ minimum but below the stellar levels of those who get straight A+s, and then just plain 'Honours' if you maintain the minimum that you were admitted to the programme with. Slackers who can't be bothered get nothing except their original degree, but nobody needs to know any more about it than that.

I want to graduate with Honours if I work hard enough, without any accompanying slaps in the face. I want extra glory if I work extra hard. Am I being unreasonable here?

Is anyone else with me on this?

Sincerely,

H. A. Vespoon

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Lettuce Issue 8

A Warning From A Student

To my fellow Nexus readers
Do not smoke any of the “fake weed” mentioned in a recent Nexus feature article. It is NOT a good time! It is too new to be thoroughly tested and on the verge of being banned, just like BZP was before it. How much longer before we start to hear stories of severe episodes of paranoia and heart attacks, along with the usual, more long term effects of Alzheimer’s or dementia? I warn you: don’t even try this stuff. We simply don’t know enough about it!
Paddy Finch

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Lettuce Issue 7

The Rage from Morrinsville

Dear Car Park Thieves

After spending a good 20 minutes driving around gate 10 car park, wasting my precious and extraordinarily expensive gas, I couldn’t find anywhere to park my car. I even drove up hillcrest road looking for somewhere to parallel park but some young girl who obviously had no idea how to manoeuvre her vehicle into the small space had taken the only park. On a side note, sometimes its best to stay and watch these people as they usually get so flustered at not being able to park and in fear of looking like a right plonker, they bugger off and forfeit their park. But then you run the risk of being backed into. It’s a shame that nobody is sincere enough to leave a note if they knock your headlight out with their tow bar.

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