Can you tell your pals at the WSU thanks from the entire mailing list. At least when I get spammed about penis enlargments and Viagra they make me laugh. Getting one message every two months is cool getting 15 sucked balls.
I don’t want to unsubscribe but I don’t want to hear for 12 people that did either.
Gmail is for porn only!
Was anybody else as shocked as I was to see that Oscar Pistorious has been charged with the valentines day massacre of his model girlfriend? Its starting to look like the paralympics golden boy wasn’t as stable as everyone once believed – that said, how stable can you expect a guy with no legs to be? The man who once inspired us is now being dragged through the mud. Who could have know that when he said he wanted to be like other able-bodied athletes he meant OJ Simpson.
The whole thing is a bit of a mystery. Police appear to be stumped by the murder, however prosecutors believe they have a leg up on the killer – perhaps even two. I personally think that the defence team don’t have a leg to stand on and a conviction is imminent. Now I don’t mean to make accusations, but I’m going to go out on a limb here (lol) and say he was probably legless at the time. Why else would he murder such a stunningly beautiful woman? She clearly had a heart of gold too, why else would she date a man with no legs? It certainly wasn’t due to a foot fetish.
Heartless as always, rumours have already began to circulate that Hollywood moguls have commissioned a movie about the entire affair. The movie is to be called Blade-Gunner and it started shooting 11 days ago. In a shocking twist police may now be investigating a second murder. Pistorious’ lawyer has been missing a week now, last sited in a meeting with the accused about who was going to foot the legal bill.
In light of the large number of Nike sponsored athletes who has been caught on the wrong side of the law in recent years, perhaps they should change their slogan to “Nike – I Didn’t do it”.
Homeless People Rock
Hey Lettuce, I have a problem, so I thought I’d chuck u collective and copiously cool cats some catastrophic cabbage to chew on. I don’t want to be kitten around so to be catatonically clear (paws for effect), this ain’t got nuthin’ to do with cats.
Nah gee, I’m just writing to say I’m sick of all these people with nice houses and power mowers. I get that people enjoy living in cosy abodes, kickin’ it and enjoying the sweet atmosphere of affluence; but you all suck compared to the homeless people kickin’ it down at Riff Raff. Yep, I’m talking about the K2 fiends and (AND; they’re not necessarily one and the same) the bros (read: tangata whenua).
They have nothing to share, but they damn well share it anyway. If you’re into beers, fashion, freestyle rap battles, comedy routines (legit ones, and not just the fully ta moko’d dude who makes the sweet dolphin noises), or even chats about self-determination and freedom; these are the cats you should talk to. They’re straight-up more interesting than the bored-and-boring social media community, and a hell of a lot better at keeping the peace than Police Ten-Seven.
Meow look, this isn’t a Cat.ch-all “all homeless people rock”, but I spent my Valentines day running a private gig down at the river before sweeping the street with one of the bros on his lady-less birthday “just cos”. Enjoy liking and sharing, kids; I’m just saying that me and the bros are winning at life; and that you should start taking notes, ya fuckin’ students.
Desmond Jhon-Heke Swag Tiger-Face
Fat, old, racists in parliament? Never.
We can all have a good laugh at Richard Prosser’s expense. His name rhymes with tosser, he once ran for a party that wanted the South Island to become independent and writes for a magazine run by a serial nutjob conspiracy theorist that no one reads.
However there is one thing I can agree with him on – not the whole “misogynistic troglodytes form Wogistan” thing but in a subsequent radio interview where he claimed this is the sort of thing the Winston First party represents. Couldn’t agree more! His party represents the kind of people who think like that: racist, fat grumpy old pigs, handpicked by the Head Racist Fat Grumpy Old Pig Winston.
Oh yeah, and what was he doing with a pocket knife at airport security anyway? The reality is that I would more scared to board a plane with Prosser himself, or indeed one of those eco-nazi Greenpeace terrorists on board, than a Muslim (provided they weren’t wearing a tea towel or something of course).
Misognistic Troglodyte, Wogistan
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