Furniture Sales Ahead of Sesh
Thereβs been a massive surge in the number of furniture sales around the country this week ahead of what is predicted to be “the sesh of all seshβs”. Stores such as K-mart, Big Save and the Warehouse are all lowering prices on these items wherever they can.The consensus on why such low prices were occurring around the country was clear. Nexus spoke with Ray, a long time manager/owner of a Harvey Norman franchise and a keen businessman. βLook these godless uni students want furniture to break when they get rowdy and by god if Iβm not the one profiting off it you can bet your ass the Warehouse down the road will beβ says Ray. βI had one absolute nonce come in and ask for 2 ottomans, a recliner, a TV and an outdoor table. I donβt think theyβll live to see the morning light if Iβm honestβ. With record profits to be made, competition among stores is high. K-mart has placed a buy one get a free sledgehammer deal with itβs ceramic pots. There is going to be some serious pain brought to these random objects.
Student Excited to be βBack on the Horse Againβ
Local third year commerce student Sam recently spoke to Nexus about being allowed to piss up with the boys again. He said he was stoked to have his one personality trait back after the Government swiped it away from him. βFuck Iβm kinda sad about not getting to do noms anymore aye, did them like 3 times a week in my parents garage aye hahah fuck it was so loose. Nah my parents only scolded me once for it aye theyβre goodcuntsβ. Nexus didnβt know what to think of this, suggesting that Sam might have a drinking problem. To which he replied βhaha do you know Blair? Blair Shco!! Hahah see you boys at Greensboro tonight, be there or be square aha big seshβ. Nexus did not attend this pissup.
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