The Mechanics of Time Travel

So how does time travel work? The simple version: It works. Ok? What more do you need to know? You are here, enjoy it.
For those of you that require a more detailed description.

WARNING: The following section may cause headaches.

It all began nearly 400 years after Einstein proposed Special Relativity. Albert Einstein was on his fourth lecture tour in the 24th Century, when he realised that he had got his original equation wrong. Instead of E = mc2, it should of have read E = mc2+1. After a quick consultation with Hesienberg, Hawkings and Newton (who were all visiting the 24th Century) it was decided that Relativity could now be combined with Quantum theory.
Super String theory was then superseded by the Space/Time Spaghetti theory, (named after the Flying Spaghetti Monster, the only god whose existence was ever proved beyond doubt. It is sad that he committed suicide three years after the proof of his existence was published). The Space/Time Spaghetti theory states that there are only nine and a half dimensions instead of the ten postulated under the Super String theory. This means that Universe acts as a Mobius Strip and disappears up its own fundamental orifice. The fractional dimension is also a time dimension.
The only known entity that can directly observe that half dimension is the domestic feline or house cat. With the application of Quantum Mechanics to string theory it was realised that we all exist everywhere in space and time and all dimensions unless one is observed by a cat. The half dimension causes a ‘smearing’ over the time line and allows the cat to observe you at a time previous to your departure. Traditionally, whatever cat is used is affectionately name Schrodinger. By use of a Morphic Field Inverter and the absence of a cat you are pushed into the nine and a halfth dimension where you are smeared across the Space/Time continuum until you come to a time where a cat observes you and you arrive. A full mathematical description can be found in any library from 2375 onwards.

Next time: Politics for the Time Traveller.