Disclaimer: This article does not in any way aim to persecute or degrade alcoholism – if you honestly have a problem then it’s fair enough to cut down or cut out alcohol altogether.

I like booze. Booze is good. I mentioned previously that the Burton inner child is back, but now there’s that internalised struggle of wondering if a 29 year old man should still be drinking every weekend. But there’s the problem – where’s the “should” coming from? Politicians? So you’re telling me they don’t drink while they’re in all those taxpayer funded dinners?

I’ve met some really cool people while drunk, sure I’ve struggled to remember their names, but the flipside is if I hadn’t been drinking at the bar in the first place I wouldn’t have met them. I’ve heard booze described as a social lubricant – personally, I wouldn’t use that term because it makes me think that if you use beer as a lubricant there’s gonna be a yeast infection.

Wow, guess I decided to go the puerile way again? If you’ve been reading my column for the four years I’ve been writing it you know that I’ve done some dumb but funny shit while drunk. I’ve had half naked slap fights over gay tattoos, in my younger days I ran into a wall for a $50 dare, stage dived at Axces and worn a skirt into town to pub “skirt nights” (really cheap drinks if you were a guy wearing a skirt). I mean, sure I looked like Bugs Bunny when he used to cross dress, but I’d just reassert my masculinity by drinking beer with manly names like Stag or Viking. I still think they should bring out a beer called Machismo. It’d make a killing.

How does this relate to Metal? Watch a Metal DVD and you’ll see. Perhaps it’s part of the working class culture of Thrash and Death Metal (me faves) but alcohol plays a large part. If you look at the alcohols associated with Bogans then it fits – beer with a “working class image” (Waikato or Lion Red), Bourbon and Whiskey. Alcohol also plays a part for those who don’t drink. Straight Edge Metallers like to proclaim that they don’t put drugs like alcohol in their bodies – even the denial of something can still mean it’s a key part of identity. Rejection or even objectivity is still asserting a position.

Wow that all got mature didn’t it? For me personally, I think it’s about a balance. I get drunk regularly, but I still (I’d like to think anyway) live up to my responsibilities, I have the odd rough night where I do (or more often say) things I regret but as long as it’s not really bad its fine. To paraphrase Bill Hicks I’ve had some rough experiences involving sex but I’m sure as hell not giving that up.

Everything in moderation – including moderation.