I really wish people would sort their shit out. Assume (if you like) that I am like every other student on campus. I have nothing to do on a Monday, because the weekend does not officially finish until mid-Wednesday. So, far from paying attention in my lectures, and making the absolute most out of the education I am receiving, so I can get a decent job and one day emerge debt-free from beneath the weight of my Massive Student Loan, I am reading the Nexus to pass the time.
Yes, the dirty little rag you are currently holding in your dirty little hands is also my way of surviving the oh-so-common 9am lecture found in my schedule of study. Now, I’m not taking English, or any form of literature. I am a chemistry student, but at least I know how to fucking write. It’s really not that hard. So why, I ask you, why are there so many fucking mistakes in this damn thing?
Contributors, for the love of Pete, will you proofread? Senders of letters – actually, keep doing what you’re doing. No, scratch that. You fuckers should proofread as well. You’re at UNIVERSITY now. That’s right, bitches. Capital letters. This is higher education. You have essays to write, reports to collate, presentations to prepare. The difference between “there,” “they’re,” and “their” should be obvious by now. Honestly. They even sound different, you tard-brains.
And yet, despite the silent screams of the language you so readily butcher go unheard. Each week, I sit with a highlighter pen, and find mistakes on nearly every page. Stop making it so fucking easy! I actually have had to buy a second highlighter this year alone. That means that there were so many damn mistakes in this damn magazine that my damn highlighter ran out!
Someone once called me out on the behaviour, telling me that I was “a Grammar Hitler.” It was with the utmost satisfaction that I pointed out that as a proper noun, I would, in fact, be “The Grammar Hitler.” It was with the utmost satisfaction that they pointed out the irony.