By Danni Parsons
Oct 07, 2019

Horoscopes: 7th October 2019

Your astral projections for this week.

Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 22)
There’s work to be done, so stop goofing off. You may have a Bachelor’s in Procrastination, but unfortunately that’s not going to get you that A average that your mum keeps nagging you about. The stars say that every fail equals a 20% drop in your inheritance.

Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21)
We know you’ve been bent over backwards trying to make everyone in your life happy, but as per, you’ve found yourself being taken for granted. All the stars can say is sorry, and try not to shout at anyone. Especially your tutor. They have problems of their own.

Sagittarius (NOV 22 - DEC 21)
Well you were quite the glutton this week, weren’t you? Who doesn’t love a good study snack to keep motivated? Oh well, nothing a few more hours at the gym won’t fix. Oh, you thought I would say minutes? Yeah, maybe if you hadn’t eaten that entire cake.

Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19)

Unusually, everything seems to be going perfectly in your life. Make the most of it, as the stars are cooking up a storm for you next week involving the holy trinity of troubles. Wondering what they are? Us too, please Snapchat all unfortunate events - we’re curious.

Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18)
Stop taking your friends for granted, especially those nice enough to take the time to proof-read your essays. This week, the stars will reveal it was never actually your skills getting you A+s, but your helpful friends. Perhaps extend an olive branch to mend some relationships.

Pisces (Feb 19 - Mar 20)
We hate to tell you this, but the only reason your ex is texting you again is because they know you’re a massive nerd willing to help them pass, even though they haven’t studied all year. For once in your life, coming round to ‘study’ means exactly that.

Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 19)

Feeling confident about your end of year exams? Yeah, you probably shouldn’t. Reading one page of notes and then having a celebratory smoko doesn’t count as study. Check yourself before you wreck yourself.

Taurus (Apr 20 - May 20)
Stubborn by name and stubborn by nature. Back down, your lecturer’s right - your last assignment was crap. I know you hate losing arguments but don’t worry - knowing you, it won’t be long until you have to conquer another one.
Gemini (May 21 - Jun 20)
We know you stole all the credit in your group project, even though you didn’t show up to the meeting, and karma is coming in the form of car trouble. We know about your tendency to be two-faced but there’s a time and a place, and it’s not here or now.

Cancer (Jun 21 - Jul 22)
A little birdie told us that you’ve recently caught feelings, and want to romance them this weekend Bar 101-style. Stop right now, you know they’re too classy for that. Do you want to get your heartbroken and fail your exams?

Leo (Jul 23 - Aug 22)
You’ve been working too hard. You need to take a weekend break and reward yourself - talk about perfect timing; it’s the annual German celebration of all things alcohol! Time to jump into your Lederhosen and get yourself some of that German sausage.

Virgo (Aug 23 - Sep 22)
Okay, so yeah, you messed up and told your friend the wrong due date. As long as you make a big and elaborate apology (something you’re probably very used to doing), it will all work itself out in the end, the stars promise. Can’t say the same for your friend’s grades, though.

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