Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 22)
In order to forge a relationship, you may have to work through some hard obstacles. We know they’re an engineering student, so we recommend a gift to break the ice; perhaps some deodorant?
Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21)
The stars are telling you to relax and chase away any negative expectations. Take peace in knowing that an outcome later this week will result in far less responsibility for you during the next several dozen weeks.
Sagittarius (NOV 22 - DEC 21)
Wednesday is the perfect time to fix a recent imbalance within your aura. Flat tensions may be stressing you out, so do some relaxing meditation - it’ll help revive you for another week of constant passive aggressiveness.
Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19)
Just when things seem to get easier, something pops up to make life more complicated once again. It’s you. You’re the thing that pops up to make life more complicated. Stop sending out follow requests; they deleted you for a reason.
Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18) Pisces (Feb 19 - Mar 20)
This week, you have no choice but to continue on through a difficult situation. You decided to branch out and try the watermelon Cruisers, even though everyone else knows they’re fucking disgusting. You made your choice, now drink your box.
An upcoming obligation may appear to be a mountain of trouble, but it’ll all be worth it in the end. The stars know you don’t want to do this group assignment but you’re about to graduate, so just fucking suck it up.
Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 19)
Where progress is concerned, there is no ‘one size fits all’ approach. Stop plagarising and do your own fucking essay. Everyone knows those words aren’t in your vocabulary, so sort it out or the stars will tell Turnitin.
Taurus (Apr 20 - May 20)
This week, try to see the silver linings of your life holding you back. You may be facing another year at university due to your poor grades, but hey, at least the StudyLink will keep flowing; think of the positives x
Gemini (May 21 - Jun 20)
You may be worried that someone’s perception of you means they’ll never respect you. While you may be perceived as a hypocritical bitch, it doesn’t mean they won’t respect you; they just won’t like you at all.
Cancer (Jun 21 - Jul 22)
You have a far better method for handling a situation than the person in charge, but unfortunately no one else sees things from your perspective. Continue to brood until someone asks what’s wrong, and proceed to tell them you’re “fine.”
Leo (Jul 23 - Aug 22)
Pay attention to what your intuition is telling you. You can feel it in your bones that that one bitch is shady, so take to Instagram and post some targeted memes to your story - she’ll get the hint.
Virgo (Aug 23 - Sep 22)
Something you have wanted for a long time has finally materialised, but you may be forgetting how much effort you had to put in to get there. You may have a girlfriend now, but you’re seriously punching; time to put in 110%.