By Nexus
Aug 12, 2019

How Many Notches on the Bedpost is Too Many?

Sex In The Tron

I don’t think anybody seriously plans on becoming known as the town bike, but the rumour mill can be cruel. The number of sexual partners you’ve had seems a little bit like the amount of perfume you have on - the more you have, the more other people seem to get offended. (Although it could be argued that, as a guy, the more Lynx Africa you have on, the more females seem to be drawn in). Where is the line where being single and having fun turns into being a slut/man whore? Is it when you reach above double digits? When you haven’t even had a chance to wash the sheets since the last root? Or is it when other people assume you are because you hooked up with four people in the Outback the other night?

The word “slut” is a harsh one, and it gets thrown around a lot. Currently, the ever-reliable folk over on Urban Dictionary define the term slut as “a derogatory term to describe a woman that is sleazy and will have sex will anyone or sometimes anything. It’s more commonly being applied to shithead men today too.” Other definitions are even less kind, describing a slut as a promiscuous female, girls from broken families who act inappropriately to get attention, or a woman who sends nude pictures. Man whores are apparently “someone who sticks his train into any hole,” a guy with little or no standards, and players that you should steer well clear of. Overall, it seems like we really don’t like it when peoples’ numbers get too high.

I’d kind of smush a different definition together - we tend to judge people based on the number of people they’ve fucked. But you see, if someone has loads of sexual partners, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re a fucked-up kid from a broken family (although they might be), it might just mean they’ve got A+ game with a hot bod and we’re a little jealous, if we’re honest with ourselves. And if someone’s a serial heartbreaker? Well, that doesn’t necessarily they’re a slut, but it does mean they’re probably an asshole. Here’s some slutception for you: sluts and man whores wouldn’t exist if we didn’t fall for their devilish charms. Think somebody’s sleazy? Then, duh, don’t fuck them. They wouldn’t even be able to accrue over 40 notches if people weren’t willing to sleep with them, too. I’m saying this based on hearing chicks who complain about a guy being a player, and then sleep with them anyway (yeah hun, you sure showed him...way to fuel his ego), and based on guys who slate a chick for being a slut, even after they’ve fucked her themselves (what does that make you then, desperate?).

So, maybe we should narrow the slut definition a little; reserve the judgement for people who go about it in a fucked-up way. For example, someone who a) sleeps with people with no regard for others, e.g. people who cheat continuously on their partners or intentionally attempt to be the side-piece (sending nude pics to your partner is cool. Sending nude pics to someone else’s partner? Not cool), and/or b) sleep with people when they knowingly have an STI (or have a high chance of having one, but cbf getting tested), and don’t tell them in advance, that’s whorey. And with that definition, it doesn’t matter if you’re male, female, transgender, straight, queer, or sexually attracted to your couch cushion - if you’re a fuckwit, you’re a fuckwit.

Like mumma would say, have some self-respect. Sex should be about attraction, seduction, and fun; just like Donna in the Greek Islands of Mamma Mia! The musical. Whether that’s with one lover or fifty lovers, as long as you’re slip slop slapping [on some protection] and everybody’s consensual and happy, keep on rockin’ on. If you’re using sex to fuel your ego, claim bragging rights, or fill emotional voids left by an unsatisfactory childhood, maybe you should chill the fuck out and try some self-lovin’ for a few months to restore that shaky self-esteem (and probably get some counselling for that last one, I can’t help you there in 500 words). At the end of the day, orgasms are mean, but 100% of your life is gonna be spent in your own head and body, so if you aren’t happy there, you might want to work on that rather than wurkin’ on others, if you catch my drift.  

Love,
Nexus xx

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