By Nexus
Aug 05, 2019

Blind Date

She’s a PR major that froths cheeky nights on the piss; an animal-loving tall blonde who can’t funnel to save her life. He’s a blind date veteran, ready to find true love. While Nexus thought they’d finally cracked it and made a real match, these two write-ups seem to tell different tales…

SHE SAID:
So I’m severely hungover (probably still drunk if we’re being really honest) as I write this, but man, what a night. I rolled up to this date thinking “this guy’s gonna be average at best” but alas, I was wrong. He had an Adam Devine vibe (but actually cute) and the chill sense of humour to match, and it only got better from there! The comedians kept roasting him for his lack of dressing up (which I had no problem with), but he took it like a champ. The chat was great, can’t lie, and we ended up going to hospo with a couple of my friends (don’t remember much of that so if you’re reading this; I apologise if I was majorly tragic). I woke up this morning at his place, so it can’t have gone THAT badly (turns out he has a pet cockatoo that I hadn’t noticed previously, which was just kind of interesting more than anything else) but of course the night had to come to an end so, like the gentleman he clearly is, he dropped me off home. Overall, I don’t think I could have asked for a better match, such a lovely guy and hopefully I’ll see him again some time soon. Cheers Nexus, you outdid yourself!

HE SAID:
Ah shit here we go again, they say 3rd time is the charm but I call bullshit on that. Words can’t describe the date but numbers can, 5/10. It started off with the usual send and bend at the flat before the date and my first action once getting to the venue was a short sharp trip to the toilet for the essential tacky. After drying my eyes and a pep talk in the mirror I returned to see my date had arrived. Lovely looking girl, dressed very well and on the taller side which sucks for me since I belong in the hobbit cast. I’m sure the night would’ve been better if I didn’t get fucking grilled by every act that was on stage. Seriously whoever the 1st act is, fuck you man. The date though, it was kinda like having sex with your sister, it’s still sex but something just doesn’t feel right yanno. We had the plans of going to hospo together but the bouncers had different ideas and my date did not see the inside of Shenanigans that night. The gentlemen inside me screamed “take her home she’s too drunk” but the alcoholic inside me argued “hospo is going off” and into Shenanigans I entered. Stumbled back to my flat with a tumble here and there but get your head out of your ass because no funny business happened although she did go sleep on the couch, which was pretty fucking weird but I enjoyed the spacious sleep.

Anyway cheers Nexus always a pleasure, never a chore and let’s hope if I do it a 4th time I find true love xx

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