By Nexus
Jul 08, 2019

Full Exposure: Machete Clan

In the heart of Whanganui, you’ll find a band that is quite possibly New Zealand’s biggest claim to fame. Nexus had a chat to Machete Clan before their big Hamilton gig this Friday and got the scoop on everything from tinder activity to the importance
of gravy.

Nexus: So, what has the rise to stardom been like for a small-town New Zealand band?

MC: It’s hard to rise to stardom when you were conceived at the top. In a sense, we were already there, what we have witnessed is the slow-but-eternal awakening of the rest of the world to the rark. But if you take away the Grammy’s, the groupies, the billions and the child support payments we are just a small group of exceptionally handsome, humble, poetic men from the West Coast of NZ.

Nexus: As a Rap/Hip Hop band in Aotearoa, what are your thoughts on the kiwi music scene?

MC: We’ve definitely seen some fuckin scenes. Shout out to the Hot Donnas.

Nexus: You describe yourselves as ‘a notorious rap crew brewed from the heart of the rark’ - how would you explain this to those from the older generations?

MC: Imagine the sex appeal of the The Rolling Stones, the vocal prowess of five Freddie Mercury clones, the undisputed popularity of The Beatles, and the enthusiasm for nose-beers of Keith Richards and you have something resembling Machete Clan.

Nexus: On the Rark has become quite the well-known tune around the country - what was the process that went into writing that?

MC: On the Rark was less a journey and more just a destination we abruptly arrived at. It was a lifestyle without description before we described it so vividly with our poetry. As you could probably expect, there is a collective amnesia surrounding details of the recording of the song, when it was released, as well as the production of the video. That’s probably for the best.

Nexus: You’re Straight Outta Wangaz, but are there any plans in the works to relocate? Or is Wangaz the forever home?

MC: Fuck off.

Nexus: You released The Recipe at the end of last year, and she’s full of sick beats. What track would you recommend to some lowly uni kids looking for some end of sem inspiration?

MC: They are all fuckin bangers. One might start with Pingers and Darts and see where the night takes you.

Nexus: When can those of us lucky enough to live in Hamilton hope to see the Machete Clan next?  

MC: We are coming to Hamilton for our first show! 12th July at Nivara Lounge on our Homeless Monsters tour with fellow headliners DRXNES & Mungbeanz. Tickets available at

Nexus: Any rituals the band likes to engage in pre-gig?

MC: Haha yes, we are rich. We normally say a quick prayer to the colonel over a freshly sacrificed bucket of chicken. We wash this down with an Export Gold and a dart to moisten the lungs.

Nexus: What advice do you have for the absolute munters that are Waikato students?

MC: Being poor and under-qualified is temporary. The rark is forever.

Nexus: Do you have any strong thoughts on gravy?

MC: It’s hard to imagine us achieving any sort of success if it weren’t for our 2015 anthem Bury Me in Gravy, just one of the bangers present on our debut album Money, Bitches, GRAVY. Gravy is the lubricant of the soul.

Nexus: You claim to have 300 matches on Tinder; can you please confirm this number as factual?

MC: Yes, we can.

Nexus: Final question - what’s the best day of the week to get on the rark?

MC: A mid wednesday rark will have you four days deep should you continue through to Saturday. This will place you in prime rarking form at prime
rarking time.

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Waikato University
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