There’s nothing quite like being a social smoker! What can be better than raxing half a pack of durries off a mate (or, to be honest, just anyone at the party will do) EVERY Saturday night, with the excuse that you “don’t normally smoke” so you can be a cheap cunt and not pay for them yourself? If you have social anxiety problems, then hey, this might just be the avoidance strategy for you. When you light up, you’ll avoid having to front up to your sub-par conversational skills and that weird sensation where you don’t really know what to do with your hands. You’ll also avoid the hassle of telling the doc you’re a smoker, because if you only smoke a pack one night a week, you’ve never *really* touched one, right? After all, any bad behaviour that happens on a Saturday night out doesn’t count. Sure, ciggies are toxic, expenny, bad for the environment, make your mouth taste gross, give you nausea-inducing head spins, and cut a few years off your life. However, social smokers can totally argue that they practically don’t get ANY of the bad bits; “I only smoke when I drink” is most definitely an acceptable, pardonable excuse. Hey, if all else fails, you’ve got to die of something. At least you’re not tripping on acid or dropping caps...right?Healthy Lungs
Every breath you take is a breath closer to death, and when that breath is filled with fucking poison, you’re only hurting yourself. Actually, that’s not true. Your smoking harms others, according to current cigarette packaging. Aside from the fact that every cigarette is doing you damage, the packaging and tax on a twenty pack of Marlboros is now hideous (as though the stench wasn’t before). Smoking is out, and healthy lungs are the height of moral purity. Think of it this way, even though it is no doubt pitch black inside your chest cavity, your lungs are a soft, pretty pink. Scientific or not, your beautiful lungs pulse like the wings of a newly hatched butterfly, warming its wings to fly with every inhale and exhale—if you possess the self-restraint to never even try a cigarette. Wanky poetic melodrama aside, listen carefully when I say “Young-lunged reader, do not even start.” If you are a fresh-faced first year, or a mature student coming to study later in life, if you have healthy lungs, do not even start. Let me repeat that a third time; do not even start smoking. What if you already smoke? You can quit. Doctors have nicotine gum and patches and can provide information to help you improve your lungs. Every breath you take is one more breath in this world, and every breath should keep you alive. Keep your inhalations healthy - your lungs will thank you for it.