By Cameron McRobie
Oct 04, 2018

Post-Match Press Conference

The Crowd Goes Mild

It was a game of two years. There’s been ups and downs but y’know, the lads (that’s me, fuckers) are just truly over the moon with the end result. Sports columns can go either way; especially when you’re playing the obscure game. Too many jokers these days think they can stick to the status quo, but our fantastic coaching staff here never stopped believing they could deliver bullshit sports and provocative opinions week on week – I think we’ve really shaken up what it means to write a student media sports column.

There were definitely a few highs of the season where momentum was high at the breakdown and we managed to spin it out quickly week after week! Personal favourite of mine was definitely the beer sculling issue – though I’ll get to that at the after-match I’m sure (ha ha).

The best plays—the ones that really hit with a ‘boomfa’ if you will—were the 2017 extreme ironing issue and this year’s ferret legging issue. If you haven’t read either of these, definitely hit the ol’ replay, or it’ll be assumed you’re not a true fan and definitely won’t have any of the hard-hitting chat to bring to the smoko table come Monday. 

There were certainly a couple of low moments where we really struggled for content at the breakdowns and were really getting pinned down. Particularly notable were attending bums, tums and thighs—purely for content, I promise—and giving the annual Dancing with the Stars TAB rundown. However, after trawling the most niche corners of the net and noting countless intoxicated rants, the pressure was put back on in the boiler room, ears were pinned back and the keyboard was hit with pace!

Me, oh my, a few points were notched up – that much is certain. Twenty issues in the 2017 round-robin and another 18 in 2018 – totalling 38 somewhat questionable performances. Who would’ve thunk some engineering jock could string a sentence together at a writing level higher than an 8-year-old – let alone captain a sports column. For all the Chads™ out there who never completed year 13 English (probably) and have certainly never written more than a set of red-card rules for fun, this is for you.

Not to be a cathartic cunt, though I’ll certainly miss The Crowd Goes Mild and Nexus, I’m fucking stoked it’s nearly over. It’s time to retire, hand on the torch, and start adulting. Of course, the standard “write for Nexus” propaganda is due – and I seriously do recommend it. Someone’s gonna have to pick up the baton and represent all that’s good and atrocious in the world of sport. Quick shameless Insta plug, gimme a follow @cfmcrobie. Otherwise, I’m out – that’s what’s up.

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