By Nexus
Sep 13, 2018

Full Exposure: Randal the Jandal

Golly, Nexus sure is one lucky magazine this week! We managed to track down the University’s ubiquitous mascot for a brief chat and what can only be described as a life-changing experience. Randal the Jandal truly is an inspiration to the Waikato community and a testament to the social media prowess of our glorious institution.

Nexus: Where did Randal come from?

RJ: Hi Nexus! Thanks for being so interested in me and my activities. I’ve never done an interview before so I’m heckin’ nervous but also freckin’ excited. So, I was found near one of the campus lakes on a Monday morning in August last year by a HumanLadyWoman gathering duck eggs for her collection. I’d been abandoned. I was all alone. It was cold. I’d lost my textbooks. I’d lost my way. I was close to tears, but I had no eyes so that was awkward and a little bit painful. Anyway, the HLW picked me up off that damp, swampy, duck-infested ground, adopted me officially through, and now, here I am.

Nexus: What is Randal’s purpose?

RJ: I’ve struggled to find my purpose for the entire whole one year of my life. Some things just are for no good reason. They exist simply to exist. Or something. And that’s me. I’m just here, man. Here and trying to get a grade better than a C-.

Nexus: What have we done to deserve Randal’s presence?

RJ: The jandal gods smiled down on you. 

Nexus: How does Randal relate to current and prospective students?

RJ: I just try to be myself. That’s all any jandal can do.

Nexus: What feedback has Randal received from staff, students, and the general public?

RJ: I like to avoid feedback. It can be crushing. But I hear I’m very popular with the boot population in Student Village.

Nexus: Following Randal’s ambush by “the Sandals”, has the University implemented improvements to safety on campus? What changes have been made to ensure these acts of violence do not occur again?

RJ: I’m still traumatised by the ambush incident with the Sandals. I don’t know if the University has an ambush-prevention policy. There are still heaps of bushes everywhere. When I see sandals on campus, I give it some jandal and run off in the opposite direction. I don’t want them to look at me with their scary eyes.

Nexus: Randal has also been proven to not be a positive advocate for academic pursuits. Snapchat stories have shown Randal sleeping through periods of study, and even sleeping through an entire exam. Is this the attitude the University wants current and prospective students to adopt? Is this the role model of UoW?

RJ: Oh, wow. That’s a lot of responsibility to put on my small, firm, foamy shoulders. I’m just a jandal. And I sleep a lot. Also, I’m not good with alarms. 

Nexus: Randal celebrated his first birthday quite recently, though sadly, despite the announcement asking for fans, friends, and family to “send in their Happy B-Day snaps to be in tomorrow’s story!”, “tomorrow’s story” never happened. What did Randal do to celebrate? Why were the public excluded from festivities? Did nobody wish Randal a happy birthday?

RJ: My birthday party was pretty full-on. There were a lot more tasty snacks than I was expecting. Between Spartacus the Campus Tuatara, Skully the Skull and my best jandal friend Bryan from Bryan’s Hall, it was all bit of a blur with the snacks and whatnot. I was fully half-derped the next morning and late into that afternoon, hence why nothing got posted. Apologies and thanks to all who snapped in their best wishes. 

Nexus: Randal has also shown complete disregard for his own safety, and the safety of others. The best example of this being the image of Randal sitting on the barriers at the top of the K Block fire escape stairs. Is this a “trend” we want to encourage students to copy?

RJ: K, so, the K Block incident happened before I got eyes. I had no idea where I was. The snap says I was admiring the view, but really, I was feeling it more than seeing it. And it was sweet.

Nexus: Why does Randal say “no” to the rain? Is Randal unaware of the heavy agricultural focus of the Waikato region? What reasons does Randal have to oppose the lifeblood of our primary industry?

RJ: I’ve had trouble with most types of weather, not just rain. You may remember how the sun nearly killed me last summer.

Thanks, Nexus. And remember: first you flip, and then you flop, said no jandal ever.

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