By Kim Sare
Aug 09, 2018

Payday

Calendar Girl

The life of a student is often a frugal and destitute one. The struggle of eating halls food day after day as your poor financial status stares you in the face. The need to calculate how much you can viably spend on alcohol to afford some kind of food for the next week. Sending your account into overdraft because the Bay Dreams lineup this year is just too good to miss. It’s a tough life. Don’t fret; here are three fool-proof ways to guarantee a little dough in your pocket to fuel your scarfie antics. 

The organised ones among us with a part-time job; congratulations, you’re not a complete societal leech! Contributing to the economy, gaining life experience, learning how to act in the workplace, doing more than a simple degree – what a star! That cold, hard cash is 100 per cent earned by you, and definitely a fair representation of your effort as an employee. That means it’s allowed to be blown frivolously, right? Your determination to find a job, the hard work you put in, and the extra organisation skills you must acquire to “keep up” with uni perfectly justify squandering your money. That adorable playsuit you just had to get your hands on, another bottle of vodka that’ll surely last a couple of nights on the rark, and maybe just one more vegan Domino’s pizza. Treat yourself kid, as a functioning member of society you’re entitled. 

For those of you not that way inclined, StudyLink’s handy payouts can work a treat. Essentially a rewards system for what is pretty much a group of unemployed, hormonal addicts—most of whom are not yet ready to claim the title of adult—these weekly payments are a godsend. All you have to do to be eligible is be enrolled in a tertiary institute and boom! And for those particularly “lucky” ones, it doesn’t even get added to your forever-increasing student loan. Could it get any better? Above all, one cannot forget about the convenient course-related costs. $1000 to spend on any necessary university items? Yes, please! It is particularly useful when the financial scene is looking a bit dire, or when faced with the whole gang’s decision to head to Rhythm and Vines this year. Just keep those fingers crossed that you’re not randomly audited by the Government. 

Now, for the wealthier of you, the Bank of Mum and Dad may be a viable option for those times when you just really need another pair of skinny jeans. Usually quite fast and often interest-free, a loan from this organisation can be a lifesaver in the most desperate of situations. A primary source of support, parents are there to guide us along this existential journey of ours as we strive to find our purpose in life. Having children is a lifelong commitment — they knew what they were getting into, it’s your right to stake claim on their comparatively-stacked bank accounts.


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