Cancer (June 21-July 22)
As we move through the season of Cancer, you prosper, while others struggle to deal with several emotions at any given moment. Enjoy the superiority of having shitty coping mechanisms as everyone around you suffers.
Leo (July 23-Aug 22)
A path leading to some budding new relationships is revealed to you. Use the journey to develop some friendlier social skills and ditch your backstabbing tendencies so as not to scare any new acquaintances away.
Virgo (Aug 23-Sep 22)
With Venus in retrograde, your presence in any room will become heightened. Don’t let it go to your head, it may be due to your poor taste in fashion or the fact that you infrequently shower.
Libra (Sep 23-Oct 22)
Use your new-found 20/20 vision to guide you away from your usual taste in potential romantic partners – your track record of being dumped is hard to watch.
Scorpio (Oct 23-Nov 21)
A mysterious new arrival in your atmosphere may trick you into believing in love again. Though, sadly, you’ll continue to never act on anything and use being ‘single’ as a defining personality trait.
Sagittarius (Nov 22-Dec 21)
This weeks relationship with Jupiter means you’ll have a lot of free time on your hands, allowing you to roam independently once again. Don’t fret too much, the pain of your impending breakup shouldn’t last long.
Capricorn (Dec 22-Jan 19)
Don’t be overwhelmed by the feeling of a new emotion – accept the love flowing through your veins and embrace commitment for once, rather than continuing down your path of loneliness.
Aquarius (Jan 20-Feb 18)
Celestial overlords bring forth a new challenge this week. While your initial response might be to run and hide, our visions suggest there is a need to grow up and finally act your age.
Pisces (Feb 19-Mar 20)
Eyes and ears work well for you this week when trying to read a social situation. Use your heightened skills to evaluate your own role in the collapse of your relationships to avoid further embarrassment in the future.
Aries (Mar 21-Apr 19)
While the Gods above have given you a cruisy few weeks, the crystal ball sees this all come to an abrupt end. Start grovelling to old friends before your romantic relationship completely crumbles, and you’re left with no one.
Taurus (Apr 20-May 20)
This week brings a discovery of self. Use your many mirrors with caution as they may reveal a profound unhappiness with who you’ve become, and lead you to ponder the legitimacy of your parents’ pride.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
The universe will be sending many intriguing signs this week, take note of the messages presented to you. Consider investing in a new mode of transport before your beloved ‘92 vehicle breaks down on a busy main road.