Fuckin’ nossies. I would tend to agree with anyone suggesting that this is the best and most enjoyable method by which to destroy your brain cells through oxygen deprivation. I’ve got it on good authority that even the song ‘Wagon Wheel’ makes infinitely more sense while experiencing nitrous oxide. ‘Wagon Wheel’ for fuck’s sake! The song you have at least a 30% chance of hearing while walking past Shenanigans! (don’t quote me on that, I’m yet to perform a statistical analysis). If ever you come upon a backyard post-piss-up littered with balloons and spent gas canisters, there’s a pretty safe bet many laughs were had in that spot and Tame Impala’s ‘Nangs’, was played a bunch of times.
Whoever figured that shit out must have been responsible for its niche use in hospitality (he wasn’t, but we’ll get to that). ‘Why are you making so many meringues, dude?’ ‘I just love ‘em, man. Meringues for days.’ Not actually though – we just happened to luck out on the chemistry lottery with a stable gas that happened to smell and taste sweet, as well as completely desensitise the pain receptors of folks inhaling it.
The actual gas nitrous oxide was first discovered by an English scientist Joseph Priestly in 1772. However, it wasn’t until 1799 that Sir Humphry Davy was “experimenting” with it, that he discovered that you got a pretty kick-ass high from it (note the difference in knighthood status between the two). Being the responsible lad he was, he speculated that the gas would be of great benefit to people undergoing surgery for pain relief. So, there you go – clearly, some drug addict decided it was absolutely essential caterers have access to it.
When inhaling nitrous oxide, the gas diffuses into the bloodstream from the lungs. It doesn’t bond with the haemoglobins and being a polar molecule, is readily soluble in fats. This means that the molecules quickly reach cells. The nitrous oxide isn’t metabolised, however, so it will eventually leave your body the same way it entered. This is why the gas is frequently hyperventilated because the small portion that is absorbed through inhalation isn’t used up by the body so will more or less stay where it is until the breathing returns to normal, i.e. after the person passes out or is LOLing like a mad dog.
For those interested in engaging in a few nangs with the lads and lasses, here are some helpful tips. First of all, compressed gas tends to █████ ████████████████ when it ██████████ ██ ██████████ ██████, which means that it ████ ███ ██████ ████ ███ ███ ██. For this reason, you’re going to want to ██ ███ ██ ███ ██████ █████████ █████ ████████ ██ █████. Second, they can be purchased for ███ █████ ████ ███ ███ ████ from either ███████ ████ ███ █████ ██ █ or █████ ████ ████ ███ ███ █████ ███ ██████ ████.
Aside from that, be safe my children, and don’t do drugs.