Behold, the most highly anticipated prediction of 2018; New Zealand’s Dancing with the Stars. This very Kiwi piece of reality TV cobbles together a bunch of C-list celebs, politicians and washed-ups to give us all something to laugh about in online comments sections. Alternatively, it could prove to be simply a new avenue for punters to make a buck or two extra on their multi.
The elusive top three safest payout predictions for 2018 have taken several high-level calculations, some inside knowledge (knowing a bloke who knows a guy), character analysis, and a few very generalised guesses. Rest assured, this is basically the DWTS bible when you lay your bets over the next week.
Former TV host of the ‘90s Suzy’s World and You and Me, token MILF Suzy Cato has proved from day one that she has the fire and sass to deliver some A-grade dances. It also helps that she has a solid fan base of millennials hangin’ out for a jive to ‘It’s Our Time’. With finesse and guaranteed votes, Suzy is paying out a solid $2.74 to take it all the way.
Boasting the only right-arm medium on this year’s cast, Chris Harris hasn’t let any of the judges’ sledging affect his boundary hitting performances. Sitting comfortably at the top of the scoreboard with a run-rate of 24 PPD (points per dance), he’s proven he has not only the footwork to dash the length of the cricket pitch, but also to pull out a bloody top-notch ballroom dance - $2.15.
It’s 7pm, live on Dancing with the Stars. New Zealand’s favourite redhead Sam Hayes has proved she can deliver more than just the evening news. Following a graceful debut that may have jerked a tear or two from a mate of mine, Sam has done wonders for the ginger community. Outstanding comments from the judges have her pegged as the likely champion in these early stages, paying a safe $1.98.
Potential wildcards include David “Disco Davo” Seymour and morning rumbler Roger Farrelly. As our favourite Act MP, ol’ mate Davo appears to have obtained the electorate of Epsom’s vote this series. However, his sheer awkwardness may win the sympathy of the country. With the odds paying too high even to warrant including in this column, punters will be stoked to know that Act is still only polling at 0.4%. The Rock radio station’s Roger Farrelly is personally not expecting to make it past round three. But with 90% of West Auckland’s backing and a radio segment to plug voting in, there’s a chance we could see this fishnet singlet-wearing wild card make at least round four. With the TAB paying out Nickelback’s most recent album on Rog, it’s safe to say no betting cards will include New Zealand’s hottest radio hunk this week.