Sports. In all its majesty. One of the more questionable decisions by Nexus is putting a guy with the athletic prowess of a cucumber in charge of a weekly sports segment. But I’ll do my best. What I like about sports is that it is a way for humans to rally behind something. Something that isn’t the military stealing oil in a far away land. Getting involved, working together, things that are lacking in other aspects of our society today are so often achieved through sports. Sport gives us kiwi’s, since we’re overachievers, a reason to say “hey, we’re better than you”. When we adopt a common stance like sports division becomes inclusion. With that being said, whatever the world of sport has to offer in the year of 2020 will filter through me, and like the asshole of the digestive system, I will take on board raw sports content, process it, and turn it into a pile of shit for your reading pleasure. I present to you the finish line.
Over the summer sports have a couple of big ones.
Recently the sports world has been graced by the NBA’s All Star weekend which featured the biggest amassing of talent since move in day at College Hall. Kawhi Leonard successfully obtained buckets and prevented said buckets. Due to this, he received the games All-star MVP honours. Giannas was also big and foreign. It became apparent that Aaron Gordon lives on Greensboro street because he got robbed again.
Super Rugby kicked off in superb fashion with the Chiefs making a great start beating the reigning champions, the Crusaders, and winning their first few games. Beauden Barrett in a breathtakingly shit decision has decided Auckland is the place to be over the off season, I just hope the Taranaki native doesnt turn into a right prick like most jaffas. The Super Rugby season is looking promising.
The Vodafone Warriors are still a thing
Liverpool are still tearing their premier league competition new assholes. At the time of writing the team is yet to lose a game and command a huge lead above second place Manchester City.
Super Bowl 54 in Miami made me feel sorry for Patrick Mahomes’s dick. That cunt has a cannon for an arm.
The most hyped heavyweight boxing bout in some time took place in Las Vegas, pitting Tyson Fury against Deontay Wilder. Wilder, suffering from a burst eardrum he received early on in the piece, struggled to combat Fury and his Adonis-like rig. Fury completed his storybook comeback and won the WBC championship, dishing Wilder the first loss of his professional career.
Motor sport has had a mixed bag of a summer. Formula one is still boring as shit with testing underway. Once again Mercedes is miles ahead of everyone with their devious steering wheel system. and are looking to claim their seventh championship in a row. Scotty McLaughlin kicked off the start of the V8 supercar championship by putting on an absolute clinic at the Adelaide 500 on the weekend. You good bastard.
I don’t know about your summer of betting but i’m in the red about $260. After placing a multitude of shit bets on the likes of Korean Basketball and Phillipino semi-professional tennis.
And that is your summer of sport wrapped up. I look forward to bringing you your sports bhuja each week.